10% Happier with Dan Harris

I haven't read in many many years but I believe one of the things he says in there is that people who've had like catastrophic accidents there's like a level of happiness that those people have because the surrender is non-negotiable.

And I think the third thing that I would share is, and this, I think if we all can better appreciate, can help us in these moments navigate uncertainty and navigate change better is to remember that we are really bad cognitive forecasters. Dan Gilbert showed this in his book, Stumbling Upon Happiness.

She's also written several books including How Emotions Are Made and 7.5 Lessons About the Brain.

Dr. Barrett has written several books including how emotions are made, the secret life of the brain, and Seven and a Half Lessons About the Brain.

So it's like the equivalent of adding 104 calories which I think I talk about this in Seven and a Half Lessons About the Brain...

I think that seeking discomfort though is about much more than just confronting unpleasant or unwanted thoughts. It's also putting yourself in situations where you are likely to fail, where you might be judged negatively, where you might even embarrass yourself.

So one of the things that happens when you seek discomfort is you will make a lot of mistakes and I found over time that the people who end up growing the most are the ones who are able to tell the difference between an acceptable mistake and an unacceptable mistake.

They're the people who know how to strike a balance between when I need to strive for excellence and when it's okay to say this is good enough. And I think that's a difficult skill.

His latest is called Hidden Potential, the Science of Achieving Greater Things.

I really wrote this book to try to tackle that problem.

This is a book for anybody who's felt overlooked and underrated.

one of the people that we interviewed for no hard feelings is Kim Scott who wrote Radical Candor she's become a friend of ours and she said that she always thought of herself as this cool calm and collected leader until one day one of her reports came up to her and said I just want to let you know that the team knows what kind of day we're gonna have by your mood when you walk in the door

Kim Scott has a wonderful book called Radical Candor

Well, ever since I wrote my book, Outliers, a big theme of Outliers was this notion of what is meaningful work.

it's a great book called Outliers written some years ago

Which is what we call it the madwoman in the attic as a concept it comes from Jane air, which is a million's favorite book that madwoman represents our brains desperate attempt to manage the unmanageable chasm between who we actually are and who the world expects us to be.

we talk about how to process the experience of recognizing that oh s*** I have done that which is what we call it the mad woman in the attic as a concept it comes from Jane Eyre which is a millionth favorite book

Well, the new book is Slow Productivity, the Lost Art of Accomplishment without Burnout and I've also written Deep Work, Digital Minimalism, a World Without Email.

It was really about the workplace so it was talking about technology and the workplace and some of the unintended consequences of things like email or slack this was Deep Work this was Deep Work.

His latest book is right up our alley on the show. It's called Starry Messenger: Cosmic Perspectives on Civilization

It's basically about how taking a scientific perspective can improve your life--and the world.

this book is basically a lifetime of insights and observations on the conduct of civilization in the face of objective truths that would have it take other tracks

Starry Messenger cosmic perspectives on civilization if it's anything it's what the world looks like when you peer through a lens of science

the book Starry Messenger cosmic perspective on civilization Starry Messenger is directly lifted from Galileo's first book called Starry Messenger

This is a great one from the astrophysicist and author Neil DeGrasse Tyson talking about how to have a cosmic perspective on your daily life and on human civilization generally.

Her book, as you may remember, is called Worthy and it largely concerns itself with her extraordinarily intense effort to understand herself and the world.

And so I do have a specific vision of God, but I usually keep it to myself because, you know, when people talk about religion and politics, things can get real sticky.

You talk in the book, Worthy, about a daily practice that you try to do. You call it surrender practice. That seems relevant to what we're discussing now. Is that?

And I'm just learning now as I get older that A, I'm not that intelligent to always know what the best outcome should be and that the great supreme has it all.

And so I think understanding that I'm grateful to be as privileged as I am. But even in that privilege, I was spiritually deprived. I did not have the spiritual foundation that I needed to give meaning to any of it.

He released his self-published children's book 'You Are Enough' in 2020.

Her new book is called Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People.

And today we are bringing you that episode. You're getting a double shot of Lindsay C. Gibson this week because we heard from so many of you that her work was enlightening, extremely practical and even comforting in its way.

Her new book is about, the new book is about disentangling from EIPs, and I want to talk at great length about that, because sometimes disentangling is not really an option or it's more difficult if it's like your boss or your parent than a prospective romantic partner or business partner.

And that's why I said it's very tiring because it's an energy drain to be that alert to another person's inner state.

A big theme in the book, in your new book, is authenticity. If you were raised by an EIP or you're in a relationship, a deeply enmeshed relationship with an EIP, you can... These are your words here. You can trade authenticity for approval.

Her new book is called Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People.

The new book that's coming out July 1st is Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People.

A co-founder of The Insight Meditation Society in Barre, MA, Sharon is the author of thirteen books, including the New York Times bestseller, Real Happiness, now in its second edition, and her seminal work, Lovingkindess.

There's a new book out about how to reclaim your focus from the fascinating and quick charismatic author, Johann Hari.

He found in his new book, which is called Lost Connections, what he found may change your view of depression.

So I wrote my book about depression Lost Connections because there were these two mysteries that were really hanging over me.

The mind does not stop at the standard demarcations of skin and skull, they argued. Rather, it is more accurately viewed as an extended system, a coupling of biological organism and external resources. Once the hegemony of skin and skull is usurped, they concluded, we may be able to see ourselves more truly as creatures of the world.

It's worth a try. Yeah. Yes, actually, there's been research to suggest that people who are induced to move in more fluid ways come up with more and more creative ideas than people who are still or move in more constricted ways.

I'm glad you mentioned fidgeting because part of what I wanted to do with this book was push back against the sort of pro-brain bias that our culture has. Andy Clark, the philosopher that we were mentioning earlier, he likes to say that we're a very brain bound culture, meaning we're really focused on the brain. We kind of fetishize the brain and we not just push aside or dismiss or ignore the body. We actually kind of denigrate it.

The brain didn't really evolve to do what we ask it to do so much these days, which is to wrestle with abstract concepts and symbols. So the more we can make our thinking work resemble those activities that the brain really evolved for, like navigating through three-dimensional space or manipulating material objects, the better we'll be able to think.

I think we could begin to think about how could we not only measure but also encourage the development of all of our extended minds. And I think we're going to need every bit of intelligence that we can muster to tackle the problems of this world. And so I think The Extended Mind is going to be ever more necessary.

I actually just recently posted an interview with Annie Murphy-Paul who wrote a book called The Extended Mind about the fact that we...

Her debut memoir called Briefly Perfectly Human is out now.

She's also working on her debut memoir called Briefly Perfectly Human and Visioning a New Way of Living by Getting Real About the End.

It'll be coming out sometime next year and there'll be a link for pre-orders in the show notes.

His latest book is called The Myth of Normal, Trauma, Illness and Healing in a Toxic Culture.

That's The Myth of Normal. Also to say that then when people have mental or physical health conditions, we call them abnormal. I'm saying those are normal responses to an abnormal situation.

So where's the abnormality in the individual or in the culture? I'm saying it's in the culture.

And in the book The Myth of Normal, I began with prenatal life through birth, through childhood, through all of our cultural manifestations. I'm saying we live in a culture that makes us sick because it sets us against our very needs as human beings.

In this society hardly anybody escapes that because of the way we wish children is so estranged from what the human child actually needs with that little introduction if I can ask you a few questions.

His latest book is called The Myth of Normal, Trauma Illness and Healing in a Toxic Culture.

In the book The Myth of Normal, I begin with prenatal life through birth, through childhood, through all of our cultural manifestations. I'm saying we live in a culture that makes us sick because it sets us against our very needs as human beings.

I have four other books my first one was an ADHD when I was diagnosed with it it's called Scattered Minds I look at the origins and healing of attention deficit disorder in which I argue that it's not this inherited disease but a response to the environment and it can be healed that way

My first one was an ADHD when I was diagnosed with it. It's called Scattered Minds.

I look at the origins and healing of attention that is a disorder in which I argue that it's not this inherited disease but a response to the environment and it can be healed that way.

my book on addiction is called In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts close encounters over the addiction in which I point out that addiction is not an inherited disease or a disease at all and certainly not a choice but it's a response to trauma

My book on addiction is called In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, close encounters with addiction, which I point out that addiction is not an inherited disease or a disease at all and certainly not a choice but it's a response to trauma

Well and the one I was thinking about and the one we use in our course is the wisdom of no escape which is kind of an interesting original book but there's a teaching that you might have been exposed to it's called Shen Pa in the Tibetan tradition Shen Pa have you ever heard about that

When Things Fall Apart, welcoming the unwelcome and the wisdom of no escape.

When things fall apart, welcoming the unwelcome, comfortable with uncertainty, the wisdom of no escape.

His latest book and the reason for his return is called slow productivity in this conversation. We talk about how we got into this mess a mess that he calls overload culture, the difference between pseudo productivity and slow productivity and the three tenants of slow productivity do fewer things work at a natural pace and obsess over quality.

Digital Minimalism is the latest. Here's the basic thesis in his words. The services delivered through our devices are so alluring and addictive that they can erode the quality of your life and your sense of autonomy.

We seem to have stumbled backwards into a digital life we didn't sign up for.