10% Happier with Dan Harris

so I pulled out Joseph Goldstein's The Experience of Insight which is actually one of the probably the second meditation book I got and I just I just started reading this

I pulled out Joseph Goldstein's The Experience of Insight which is actually one of the probably the second meditation book I got

Going on Being open to desire.

many others Going on Being that's another book he wrote he's written a whole series of beautiful books so go check those out

He's written a number of books including thoughts without a thinker the aforementioned going to pieces without falling apart, Going on Being open to desire.

It's just out in paperback.

He takes you into the room as he does therapy.

I tried to write it in a spoken voice and you know I wanted it to be coming really from me not from my mind if that makes sense

I got the idea for the title Advice Not Given.

I do want to mention that this was recorded a while ago and we held it for a minute so you will hear a reference in the present tense to Arizona Senator John McCain who has of course unfortunately passed since then

check out his books as i've mentioned going to pieces without falling apart played a huge role in my life but he's written other books such as Advice Not Given opening to desire and the trauma of everyday life

It's just out in paperback. It's called Advice Not Given and like all of his books, this one's fantastic. It's a little bit more personal. He talks a lot. He takes you into the room as he does therapy.

He is a, Dr. Mark is a psychiatrist who has a private practice here in New York City and is also a long time practicing Buddhist in fact he got into Buddhism before he got went to med school and became a shrink but he really in this book Advice Not Given takes you into the room as he's doing therapy.

I actually think I'm hesitant to say it's my favorite of your books because I loved all the books. I want you to love this one more but I kind of do love this one more. It feels more personal to me.

I got in this book a sense of the rapidity of the back and forth the complexity the sort of multi-dimensional chess game you are playing while treating patients.

I think Susan Cain, who wrote the book on being an introvert, gave a brilliant TED Talk.

we were like we're not going to write a better book than Quiet by Susan Kane about introversion she nailed it but we can write a book about emotions at work and so we started digging into that.

Susan is perhaps best known for her first book, Quiet, a Monster Best Seller about introverts.

There's actually quite a bit of overlap between her first book and this one.

And I read Susan Kane's really amazing book I don't know if you've read quite yeah I have read it it's a it's really a terrific book and it gave me actually a lot of teachers say that it's really helped them understand their students because their students which is don't ever speaking class but they're truly listening

And with eating it's like they feel like they have to do it themselves.

It's their fault.

Yet the two actually share a pretty common mechanism which is habit.

Judson Brewer, author of Unwinding Anxiety, once said to me, my personal practice comes together with my lab's research and exploring the experience of contraction versus expansion and how that manifests in the world in so many ways.

Speaking of anxiety, Judd is also the author of a book called Unwinding Anxiety. New science shows how to break the cycles of worry and fear to heal your mind.

That book just came out in paperback recently.

Can you give us a sort of pre-sea summary of your approach than when you lay out in your book which is just out in paperback Unwinding Anxiety?

I want to remind everybody the paperback edition of Unwinding Anxiety subtitle new science shows how to break the cycles of worry and fear to heal your mind I want to remind you all that it's now available said book in paperback go check it out

He's also got a reasonably new book called Unwinding Anxiety.

one of my patients and I actually wrote about him in my book because he was a pretty interesting case where this gentleman was referred to me for anxiety

The book is called Unwinding Anxiety

She gave me two books. She gave me "Let Your Life Speak" by Parker Palmer. "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chdrn and "Faith," the Sharon Salzburg.

That book in particular, it's the chapter called hopelessness and death.

When Things Fall Apart, welcoming the unwelcome and the wisdom of no escape.

So the book titles somewhat reflect that and encouragement to work with your heart and mind so that you could be sort of steady and able to be of benefit in these times.

I suspect people listening to this are thinking to themselves in all caps, how do I welcome the unwelcome? How do I become comfortable with uncertainty?

I was thinking it's like you've been trying to prepare us for this for decades.

Yeah, so the book titles somewhat reflect that and encouragement to work with your heart and mind so that you could be sort of steady and able to be of benefit in these times.

Her books include When Things Fall Apart. That's one of her best-selling books.

She gave me Let Your Life Speak by Parker Palmer. When Things Fall Apart by Pemma Children and Faith, the Sharon Salisburg.

That book in particular, it's the chapter called hopelessness and death. Fun reading. Fun reading.

All things fall apart all the time. All things. Things fall apart When Things Fall Apart.

Her books include When Things Fall Apart. That's one of her best-selling books.

She gave me Let Your Life Speak by Parker Palmer. When Things Fall Apart by Pemma Children and Faith, the Sharon Salisberg.

And I read those books and cried through every page.

That book in particular, it's the chapter called hopelessness and death.

She starts teaching on the nature of impermanence, right? All things fall apart.

He's an author of some bestselling books including The End of Faith. He is a very prominent atheist, atheism was at the core of the aforementioned end of Faith.

Sam Harris, who has no relation to our beloved host, is a scientist, a controversial skeptic and the author of several New York Times bestsellers, including "The End of Faith," "The Moral Landscape" and "Waking Up"

Kaira Jewel Lingo is the author of We Were Made for These Times. Ten lessons on moving through change loss and disruption.

In this conversation we talk about those 10 strategies for handling change that she mentions in her subtitle for the book.

And I don't want to I don't want to artificially narrow the audience for you because the poop is always hitting the fan given the non-negotiable love Imprimonants everything's changing all the time and I'm curious why did you get interested in this subject personally?

So it sounds like if I understand it correctly you learned a lot You kind of battle tested the Buddhist recipe for handling change and Disruption during this period of time and those lessons are now the spine of this book that you're coming out with

Just in closing here. I want to loop back all the way to the beginning of this conversation when you Plythely left it my alternate title for your book about the poop hitting the fan and the actual title is We Were Made for These Times Can you just you know bring us home here by talking a little bit more about what you mean by that title

She wrote a book called We Were Made for These Times.

She also teaches secular mindfulness and she has authored a book called We Were Made for These Times Ten Lessons in Moving Through Change, Loss and Disruption.

author of several books including Radical Acceptance, Radical Compassion and Trusting the Gold.

I was publishing Radical Acceptance in 2003.

I'm not actually minding at all. no in fact I love to invite everybody to tarbrock.com and that's my website and I have a weekly podcast that I give a talk Wednesday night on Washington DC area and you can download it from my website or you can go on to Facebook and downstream and just become part of live stream become part of the week weekly event so that's one thing the books are Radical Acceptance which was 2003 which is really had a really see the transfer of unworthiness and wake up out of that

that's what got me to write Radical Acceptance was the sense of being stuck in a self I didn't like and Radical Acceptance basically helped me see how it was a trance that most anybody that is identified with their self doesn't like their self now they might sometimes be on an inflated self-importance thing but underneath that there's doubt and shame

I knew reading Parma Haas' biography that his mind was different than my mind.

Parma Haas' again was the founder of the- Self-realization fellowship.

I thought Autobiography of a Yogi was written by Yogananda.

I knew reading Parma Haas' biography that his mind was different than my mind.

So that was like the first experience I had with what you would call awakened or some kind of awakened mind.

I thought Autobiography of a Yogi was written by Yogananda.

my new book is called a more just future my first book was called The Person You Mean to Be and both of those books are available wherever you buy books

And, you know, my book is peppered with mortifying anecdote after mortifying anecdote of my own biases showing up.

But I'm trying to offer is a different way of thinking about our identities, which is being a goodish person.

The thesis of my book is that we have put ourself in this tight corner with no window and that tight corner with no window is our good person identity.

The name of the book is The Person You Mean to Be, how good people fight bias.

And I think her framing is incredibly, this is just my opinion, but the way she goes about this work is incredibly useful.

And, you know, my book is peppered with mortifying anecdote after mortifying anecdote of my own biases showing up.

The thesis of my book is that we have put ourself in this tight corner with no window and that tight corner with no window is our good person identity.

I am after reading your book which I loved, I realized I should have called my book 10% woker.

The name of the book is The Person You Mean to Be, how good people fight bias.

when his book cutting through spiritual materialism, which don't be the human version of a shop that sells religious gizmos.

I'm reading the very first book I ever read of once I became a Buddhist which is called Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism and it is blowing my mind you know word for word line for lines like oh my god.

I'm reading the very first book I ever read of once I became a Buddhist which is called Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism and it is blowing my mind you know word for word line for lines like oh my god

including um spiritual materialism

certainly he worked with somebody on um cutting through spiritual materialism

His first book was called The Mindful Athletes, Secrets to Pure Performance.

if you're going to have more successes in my life but if I want to have anymore I'm going to have to continue to climb back into the chrysalis yes that's true but here's a way to unlock actually the nervous system does not know the difference between what we experience and what we think about and I usually talk about this image of me being in front of an old fashioned blackboard and I take my fingers and I use my fingernails you know I scratch the blackboard and people shatter it is like there's no blackboard there but the imagery of it creates the experience of it and so when we make a mistake and we keep reflecting on a mistake and how awful it was and how we're bad person what not we're creating that a nervous system is going through that so now if you switch that around and you focus on your past successes and you reflect on it and you keep playing them over in your mind then that grows now in your creating this mindset that allows you to have better cognitive functioning and you actually have more faith let me go back to love for a second this whole notion of love being all you need how scalable is that notion we could you have that attitude if you were present in the United States in a dangerous world with other superpowers trying to potentially topple your government or whatever that would be the challenge and the most important question we have to ask is whether the universe is friendly or unfriendly if it's unfriendly then we use all our resources to deny destroy that's war or to remove the threat but if we see the universe is neither friendly or unfriendly that doesn't matter what we do but if we see the world as friendly then I'd ask is to align ourselves with how things work so you got to have an open mind or open heart the BA would do solve issues and the BA would see things and learn from them and I go back to the Cherokee grandfather talking to his grandson in saying that he had this ferocious battle between two wolves inside of him one would call fear the other one would call love and the grandson you can't concern to say grandfather which wolf will win and the grandfather said the one did I feed so let's learn from it and how do we relate and I'm not polyannorous because I'm not gonna let somebody smack me and turn my cheek I'll be either going to put my hand up the block it or move out of the way but what I'm saying is if you have an open mind and open heart you'll be able to respond to what happens rather than react so your response will be measured and it will be an alignment of who you say you are and what you say you want to do that's why when I say all you need is love whatever I'm talking about is saying yes to life but also understand we're all connected but you got to see clearly and with love how can you be so confident that the universe is friendly I mean given the reality of inequality violence bigotry competition etc etc I mean there seems to be plenty of countermanding evidence yeah I mean I was on the other side of real withdraw tracks it's seen a lot of nasty fossil life being a drug addict and and whatnot and all I know is that I was able to transform in spite of all in the adversity it's in spite of being an African-American man who could be driving a car and get a DWB you know what a DWB is? Driving well black yes there you go and all of that stuff all this stuff is happening now and that's been happening even way worse when I was growing up so it's all you can do is do you as the Bible says live in the world not out of the world so it's like seeing yeah I'm seeing clearly I'm not naive but if I'm feeding the love wolf I have a better chance of being able to respond in ways that's going to create less suffering doesn't mean it won't be suffering because suffering is the first noble truth it's going to be suffering there's going to be people who are out of their mind and in their violent and doing nasty bad things or you know hiding out through drugs or you know any of the addictions or just being in hate all I know is when you're in the negative state at least the more suffering even though short term you might feel like you're doing something but what you give comes back to you hmm let me see if I can restate some of this I'm ad libbing here so I might mess this up but I think what I'm hearing you say is yes the universe can be or at least the world can be pretty hostile that is because people have had lots of adverse stuff happen in their lives prior to this moment and that has put them into a situation with their fear wolf or their capacity for hatred it has the steering wheel and you don't have to judge them per se you don't have to hate them back that's not going to help you can defend yourself protect your interests protect people you love do your best to compete but you don't have to dehumanize them otherwise them hate them in the process because that actually just weakens your abilities yes what I'm saying is there's a lot of new city universe so if you align yourself with how things work like I said gravity if you know gravity works a certain way then you behave according to how it is and so when you align yourself with love with divinity you're going to have a divine experience or you're going to suffer less than you would otherwise so it's like the nervous system is programmed to if it's pleasant approach if it's unpleasant avoid and if it's neither pleasant unpleasant and not equanimous then it's facing up it's not personal as this is the way it is and so how to train ourselves to stay in the center whether it's pleasant or unpleasant and not to face out but to be present and to be quantumist being eye of the hurricane as I would say that's huge is it possible that all of this stuff this equanimity you were talking about this capacity for compassion could be to many people simply academic if they don't actually practice on the cushion as a meditator yes so the cushion is one part of it but all day long you know how they're thinking how they're relating to then love work and play because you can meditate and do all that stuff but then you have to be it you know the total qualities of the heart you have to be compassionate be loving be kind and so a three-fold is not just action or just training the mind but also in behavior you know goodwill instead of ill will cultivating states of you know the heart so the heart is open and loving or at least tolerant and then the wisdom to see what's working and what's not working to see if I have under love glasses then then I see things a certain way if I have under fear glasses I'm probably going to be in fight flight of freeze coming up George talks about the connection between generating hope having optimism and achieving our goals what the negative committee is and using uncertainty and anxiety as opportunities to challenge or habit the habit many of us have of negative self-talk

He's written a book called The Mindful Athlete and he has worked with some of the best pro-athletes on a planet including Michael Jordan and Lake Kobe Bryant.

I should also say by way of introduction George has written a book called The Mindful Athlete.

But me being a perfectionist I kept at it and I read every book she had on the syllabus and that's how I started getting.

And then I looked at a reader book and then look at the back of the book and would say other books suggested readings and I would read those and I just read as much as I could about you know the mind body process

The Mindful Athlete and I want to talk about your work with athletes

The power of mindfulness as I talk about my book is a way of making yourself flow ready.

I should also say by way of introduction George has written a book called The Mindful Athlete.

But me being a perfectionist I kept at it and I read every book she had on the syllabus and that's how I started getting.

The Mindful Athlete and I want to talk about your work with athletes but I have not forgotten that you said a bunch of stuff earlier that I wanted to drill down on

The book is called The Mindful Athlete

and then writing a book about mindful athletes for teens

He's written some books including one called The Joy of Living and another called In Love with the World and he oversees the Tergar meditation community, a global network of Buddhist meditation centers.

The first book is Joy of Living and the last book is the In Love with the World.

He's the author of The Joy of Living, unlocking the secret and science of happiness.

So I wrote book joy of living yes and connected with that there's joy of living workshops

He's the author of The Joy of Living, unlocking the secret and science of happiness.

So I wrote book joy of living yes and connected with that there's joy of living workshops

And that led ultimately to me writing an entire book about consciousness. Even called The Head Trip.

So which is about waking, sleeping and dreaming about how they work, but it was really about what are the, what are the fundamental ways in which we're aware over 24 hours?

And it had a chapter because I felt like, okay, here I am writing a consciousness. I got at least gesture to these guys, the Buddhists, whoever they are.

I mean it's like a 500 page book with like tons of footnotes I look at it now and like I'm like wonder how my editor has even let that out in the world you know it's very much an ADD thing so it was so so you know.

And that led ultimately to me writing an entire book about consciousness. Even called The Head Trip.

So which is about waking, sleeping and dreaming about how they work, but it was really about what are the, what are the fundamental ways in which we're aware over 24 hours?

And that led ultimately to me writing an entire book about consciousness. Even called The Head Trip.

It was about the progress of insight, which is a particular, it's a Buddhist way of working...

she grew up in the TM or a specific part of the TM organization in Iowa and wrote a book called Greetings from Utopia Park in which she sort of talked in some mixed ways about all that.

I'm really embarrassed I'm spacing on her name the woman who wrote Greetings from Utopia Park um oh Claire Hoffman

It's called Greetings from Utopia Park, Surviving a Transcendent Childhood.

This is an extremely compelling memoir about growing up within the Transcendental Meditation Organization.

I read a lot of books for this podcast but none have I devoured as quickly as the one we're talking about today.

I don't want to spoil the book but the people because I want people to buy and read it but your discussion of this time is very well written and heartbreaking.

Utopia Park was the meditator-only trailer park on campus.

she grew up in the TM or a specific part of the TM organization in Iowa and wrote a book called Greetings from Utopia Park in which she sort of talked in some mixed ways about all that.

the woman who wrote Greetings from Utopia Park um oh Claire Hoffman Claire Hoffman good friend of mine who is I taught her I taught her daughters right so Claire has been a guest on this podcast and she wrote a book Greetings from Utopia Park which is in many ways quite critical of the TM organization but also she talks about yoga flying and she says that she had an experience yeah while doing it

It's called Greetings from Utopia Park, Surviving a Transcendent Childhood.

This is an extremely compelling memoir about growing up within the Transcendental Meditation Organization.

Congratulations on the book. It's really, really, really interesting.

I think as a journalist, you probably know that talking about your personal life is something you generally don't have to do so it was a weird decision on my part.

I think it's a very ambiguous book which I do think frustrates people but to me it's a much more accurate reality.

you know Bowling Alone that great book by the Harvard researcher came out before the phone as far as I can remember with the whole idea that we we now this was a famous book about how we used to have bowling leagues.

like that book Bowling Alone you know like um and how people are really trying to create some sense of community

I also saw and wrote a little bit about sort of the breakdown of the normal mechanisms of community like that book Bowling Alone you know like um and how people are really trying to create some sense of community and I just did an interview about how an app can do that

Earlier this week, we posted an interview with James Nestor who wrote a book called Breath, the new science of a lost art.

James Nestor is somebody I've wanted to have on the show for a long time. He's a science journalist who wrote a book called "Breath, the New Science of a Lost Art," which spent 18 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list and was translated into 35 languages.

Breathing, you say, Breathing is a missing pillar of health. What do you mean by that?

You call us, I'm going to quote you again, you call us the worst Breathers in the animal kingdom. What's going on that that is the case?

You have all chapter about the surprising power of the nose. Can you just educate us a little bit about the marvels of the nose?

So, I was trying to find a word that encompassed everybody who has a deep interest in Breathing. And a lot of those people are researchers and academics, but not all of them. Some of them are people like me who couldn't find any help for their chronic respiratory issues, found a way of fixing it, and got really interested in Breathing. Some of them are people who had emphysema and managed to significantly reduce the symptoms of emphysema. Some of them are people who had mild to moderate scoliosis and straighten their spines with proper Breathing. It's true. This actually happened. So under that umbrella is you don't have to have an MD to be a pulmonaut, but these are people who have spent a large portion of their lives dedicated to understanding and bettering their Breathing and the Breathing of other people around them.

James Nester, as somebody I've wanted to have on this show for a long time, he's a science journalist who wrote a book called Breath, The New Science of a Lost Art which spent 18 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list and was translated into 35 languages.

My wife who's a pulmonologist, a lung specialist has your book and it's been on the show for a long time so I've been feeling guilty that I haven't had you on.

Breathing, you say, Breathing is a missing pillar of health.

no matter what you eat or how much you exercise or how much you sleep or whatever, you can never ever really be healthy if you have dysfunctional Breathing and the vast majority of us are Breathing in a dysfunctional way.

You call us the worst Breathers in the animal kingdom.

I'd recommend a Rita Flow by Mahali Chixantmei and we tragically died just a week ago. And he talks about Flow experiences which are experiences of difficulty and struggle.

Try to find activities of the sort that once you get started an hour could go by and you just lost track of time. That's how you know you're in Flow.

Mike you called him Mike i thought it was mccly or something like that but Mike is okay he wrote a book called Flow right so he's written yeah lots of books but he's famous for writing about Flow which I think actually is a really beautiful concept you know what you're really so absorbed in what you're doing that you don't even notice the passage of time and in the sense of self

I read his stuff. . . The book is called Flow.