10% Happier with Dan Harris

Michael is a professor of business administration at the Harvard Business School, and his new book is called The Ritual Effect.

Good habits automate us, helping us get things done. Rituals animate us, enhancing and enchanting our lives with something more. The intrinsically emotional nature of rituals gives them their animating power.

This book is called The Ritual Effect it's really about how habits and rituals can go from being boring to being something a little bit richer in life.

Good habits automate us, helping us get things done. Rituals animate us, enhancing and enchanting our lives with something more.

For me, rituals are one of the ways that kind of kick us out of the mundane automated life that we get stuck in and they remind us to have a wider range of emotion. Positive emotions, joy, happiness also negative emotions sometimes like sadness, but they enrich our lives.

Rituals when I started studying felt a little bit more warm and fuzzy, a little bit more nebulous, a little bit more how would we possibly study these things when they are so emotional and filled with such meaning?

I think if we're always helping people to optimize on metrics, that's really, really good, but life isn't only about optimizing on metrics. It's also about all of the other things, the emotions and the connections we have with other people as well.

We see that people use ritual it's one of the things that we turn to to try to say can it help me here can it help me here can it help me here and they do seem to have when we do the research an effect on us.

He's written a whole string of best-selling books including Give and Take, Think Again and Originals.

And I don't mean something like Liam Starrone's Darkness Visible.

And I don't mean something like Liam Starrone's Darkness Visible.

My guest today is going to talk about how to deal with all kinds of family drama. Nedra Glover-Tawab is a licensed clinical social worker and the author of the book Drama Free, a guide to managing unhealthy family relationships which will be released later this month and is available for preorder right now.

so much of Drama Free is about that right it's about what are you doing in these relationships that might be contributing to certain outcomes.

Edra Tawab is a social worker and the New York Times best selling author of set boundaries find peace which she followed up with a workbook on boundaries.

This is her second appearance on the show we had around about a year ago to talk about her best-selling book about boundary setting.

I have another book called set boundaries fine piece and I have a workbook called the set boundaries workbook and on my website I have some free resources for people to check out I have some quizzes around boundaries and relationships and dysfunctional families

So I race up to the Christmas tree this one morning in my early mid teens and I pull the wrapping paper off and the book is, I'm not kidding, mismanners and my mother had put a bookmark in the section on how to write thank you notes.

I race up to the Christmas tree this one morning in my early mid teens and I pull the wrapping paper off and the book is, I'm not kidding, mismanners and my mother had put a bookmark in the section on how to write thank you notes.

And this was a big element in Happier at Home, my book about home.

This was a big element in Happier at Home, my book about home.

He's written a bunch of best-selling, sciencey books, including the evolution of God, non-zero, The Moral Animal.

He's written a bunch of best-selling, sciencey books, including the evolution of God, non-zero, The Moral Animal.

She wrote a book called Board and Brilliant. Subtitled as House Basing Out, Can Unlock Your Most Productive and Creative Self.

So I'm starting, I was thinking about it on the subway right here. I did your one minute meditation as a sort of preparation to come here and I think that for those of us who are slightly more resistant or who have struggled with it, obviously the second book of yours is the first thing that we should turn to.

And so fast forward to sitting here and the book version is out I went and did a lot more research and a lot more interviews and put together the book

My book is called boredom brilliant it's wherever good books are sold

She wrote a book called Board and Brilliant. Subtitled as House Basing Out, Can Unlock Your Most Productive and Creative Self.

the second book of yours is the first thing that we should turn to.

My book is called boredom brilliant it's wherever good books are sold

I did a show on the Jordan Harbanger show with this guy Benjamin Hardy who might be a good subject for you as well. He wrote a book called Willpower Doesn't Work and what he talks about is setting up your environment so that everything that basically the path of least resistance becomes the thing that you want to do.

I did a show on the Jordan Harbanger show with this guy Benjamin Hardy who might be a good subject for you as well.

He wrote a book called Willpower Doesn't Work and what he talks about is setting up your environment so that everything that basically the path of least resistance becomes the thing that you want to do

the term covert incest was was coined by a therapist he wrote a book called a Silently Seduced which is an amazing amazing book

the term covert incest was was coined by a therapist he wrote a book called a Silently Seduced which is an amazing amazing book

Before that she wrote The Willpower Instinct and the upside of stress.

Her books include The Willpower Instinct, the upside of stress and she's got a new book called The Joy of Movement which is about exercise and so we're going to talk to her not only about how to get your exercise game improved in a way that will actually succeed and without involving you beating yourself up along the way.

Previous books include The Willpower Instinct and the upside of stress.

His new book, "The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking," explores the benefits of negativity, uncertainty, failure and imperfection.

The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking

I remember having the insight that which is clearly not an original thought. Back when I was writing my first book that meditation is like the opposite of the power of positive thinking. It's power of negative thinking you're just kind of that's the little glib but you know you're basically leaning into all the stuff that arises as a way to instead of being act around by it to see it clearly so that it doesn't own you.

your book The Antidote right is called The Antidote with the subtitle. This is a title that's happiness for people who can't stand positive thinking. Right and so I remember reading this book I don't know how much I even read of it because it was making me so angry and anxious being the middle of writing my book and to get yours.

The book in part is anti-positive thinking Jeremiah so i'm familiar with what the power of positive thinking is that your pernicious idea and in the culture and i talk about it all the time but will you hold forth on on the merits of the power of positive thinking.

His new book, "The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking," explores the benefits of negativity, uncertainty, failure and imperfection.

The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking

The first one I went on I wrote about in my book about why positive thinking is bad and negative thinking is good.

your book The Antidote right is called The Antidote with the subtitle. This is a title that's happiness for people who can't stand positive thinking.

His books are Inward, Clarity & Connection, Lighter, and The Way Forward.

if you want to read more and depth about you know the things that I've been talking about and reading about you can get my book inward i n w a r d uh by young pueblo y u n g p u e b l o um at many bars and nobles or bookstore around the world and you can also buy it on amazon

Her newest is called Real Change and she's very busy.

I read a slim book that he had written which is now when people ask me hey what should I read if I want to you know check out Buddhism but I'm still sort of early on and skeptical what should I read and this is one of the books I recommend always it's called Buddhism without Beliefs

and it really is a fascinating introduction to the subject of Buddhism and it's I believe Stephen as the first person I heard say that Buddhism is not something to believe in it's something to do

I recommend Buddhism without belief whenever somebody on Twitter says what books should I read to get into Buddhism there are two books I recommend yours and why Buddhism is true by Robert Wright so I've been I've been I've been hawking I'm hawking your book for years

Buddhism without Beliefs is for me the formative book in my Buddhist career.

Let me just recommend two books to start one is Buddhism without Beliefs by Stephen bachelor

And in Reboot, my first book, I tell the story of this really kind English professor, Robert Greenberg, who I was crying to one day.

And the first book was called Reboot. Leadership in the art of growing up

In this episode, we're going to do a deep dive into his new book just out. It's called Reboot Leadership and the Art of Growing Up.

This is a book about leadership but a lot of people, I wonder if people in the audience are going to say, well, I'm not a leader, I don't run anything, I'm just a worker or a parent or whatever. Therefore, this book's not for me. How do you respond to that?

The challenges of leadership and the challenges of work represent us with an opportunity to confront and work with the parts of ourselves that we'd really rather not. And if we choose to do so, not only will we become a better leader but will actually grow up.

And I'm super excited about it. It's, you know, as I write in the book, for a boy who's suffered a sense of not being heard to finally have his words being read is exciting and terrifying.

And my deep wish is that somewhere down the line, five years from now, someone comes across some tattered paperback edition that's all marked up and says this book is really making a difference in my life.

she's got a new book about how mean we are to each other and ways to fix that.

She's written a book called The Opposite of Hate which is as the title might suggest a look at how we are talking to each other and feeling about each other in America these days in ways that maybe we can kind of shave the edges off of our toxic tribalism and political polarization.

The Opposite of Hate in the book is not love you do not have to love in my book you do not have to love people to stop hating them you're welcome you know that's a like them that's okay you just have to understand how in spite of our differences in our disagreements by the way which i think are incredibly important to who we are as people and as a country and as a world right we shouldn't be papering over them or pretending they don't exist or holding hands in the middle and singing come by uh i'm not in favor of that we should have our differences and disagreements we should even celebrate them and and we can express what we believe and we can stand up for what we believe in without stomping on other people isn't that an answer to the co-on from your retreat

She's got a new book about how mean we are to each other and ways to fix that.

She's written a book called The Opposite of Hate which is as the title might suggest a look at how we are talking to each other and feeling about each other in America these days in ways that maybe we can kind of shave the edges off of our toxic tribalism and political polarization.

there's been some controversy over this book about an alleged misquoting of another activist and podcast host.

to bring us to the new book The Opposite of Hate so how to tell me what the thesis is and what you learned

The Opposite of Hate in the book is not love you do not have to love in my book you do not have to love people to stop hating them you're welcome

In her book, The Likeability Trap, and in this conversation, she discusses this issue and explains how and why both men and women should combat it.

She calls it the Goldilocks Conundrum, where either you're too cold or you're too hot and it's never just right.

I originally imagined the like ability trap to be one of these like eat prey love books where I would go on some incredible life journey and come back not caring about whether or not other people liked me which was sounds way more fun than the book that I actually wrote

The trap two is that you're both being told if you're a woman in the workplace that you need to do this whole dial it up or dial it down thing but then we're also being told that one of the keys to leadership and one of the keys to being likeable is being your authentic self.

The book is called The Likeability Trap and I it's a thing that I would love to be in conversation around so if you do pick it up and you do read it let me know which questions I can answer for you.

She has written a new book called The Likeability Trap which was just published yesterday and it's all about, and I'm going to quote her exactly here, it's all about this dynamic in the workplace where, and I'm quoting women are constantly doing this dance of being told they're too much or not enough and they need to modulate.

I originally imagined The Likeability Trap to be one of these like eat, pray love books where I would go on some incredible life journey and come back not caring about whether or not other people liked me which was sounds way more fun than the book that I actually wrote...

It means that I couldn't find a good enough synonym for trap because I tried, it was almost The Likeability Paradox, The Likeability, we went through a thousand rounds.