Anna Lembke describes reading the Twilight Saga around the time she turned 40. She felt mesmerized by the books, and the feeling of self-forgetting resonated with her, leading to an obsessive pursuit of paranormal romance novels.
"
Now you've always loved reading and around this time you fell in love with a very popular book series. What was it? It was The Twilight Saga.
And can you tell me a little bit about what The Twilight Saga is? I confess I have not read the books. What is their broad plot and what is it about?
Well, you know, I was turned on to The Twilight Saga when I dropped my kids off at elementary school and there was a group of moms clustered around. Megan was one of the moms, my friend, and they were all laughing hysterically.
And I went over and I said, hey, what's so funny? And Megan said, oh, I've been reading this romance novel that I absolutely love. And I went into the bookstore to try to get the sequel and I couldn't find it.
So I went up to the bookstore owner and I said, hey, you know, where's the sequel? And he said, it's in the teenager section.
So all the moms started cracking up. They thought that was the funniest thing. But she said, but you guys have to read it. It's so good.
So I said, okay, Megan, what is it called? Because I'm always looking for a good read, right?
She said, oh, it's called The Twilight Saga.
So I thought, okay, I'll give it a try. And it was absolutely mesmerizing for me. It was as if I had never read a novel in my life. And all of a sudden, this novel about a bunch of teenage vampires running around biting each other on the neck just absolutely transported me.
It was really weird.
So the Twilight books eventually spawned a very popular series of films.
I want to play you a clip from one of those movies. A teenage girl named Bella is confronting a boy she knows, Edward, about his true nature. I know what you are.
Say it out loud. Say it. Vampire.
Are you afraid?
No.
Okay.
So there are a lot of, you know, breathless pauses here, but I'm hearing, you know, fantasy paranormal stuff, but it sounds like an innocent enough pastime, Anna.
Oh, an innocent enough pastime? Sure. It always starts out innocent.
And of course, you know, it was, but what happened was it changed the way I felt in the moment in a way that resonated so deeply that I wanted to keep recreating that feeling.
And what was that feeling? It was essentially a feeling of non-being.
While I was reading The Twilight Saga, it just transported me to another time and place such that I completely forgot myself.
And that self forgetting was clearly something that I needed and wanted.
You know, I read the whole saga.
I think it's like four books.
And then I wanted to recreate that feeling again.
So I read the whole saga again.
Wow.
Pleasurable, but not as pleasurable as the first time around.
But by then I was completely tapped into this whole genre of vampire romance novels.
And so I started to invest larger and larger amounts of time, energy, and creativity into obtaining and reading vampire romance novels.
You know, seemingly innocent to start with, but it became a bit of an obsession.
And when I ran out of vampire romance novels, I moved on to werewolf romance novels.
And then there was necromancers and soothsayers and all kinds of paranormal romance novels.