Call Her Daddy

The title of your book, Talk To Me Like I'm Someone You Love, is a profound one.

You say we're not usually upset for the reason that we think. You write about that in your book.

It's not the content of the argument. It's the context.

One of the books that you've written on narcissism is titled Should I Stay or Should I Go? Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist.

And you say this book is grounded in one principle. Narcissists are not going to change.

Okay, like what the fuck for your Netflix comedy special black Mitzvah and you wrote a book The Last Black Unicorn That was nominated for a Grammy like Just stop I'm like and I have a podcast

This is all you can also hear me. Tell it verbatim in my book Tiffany had it's The Last Black Unicorn, but go ahead

I was atheist at the time and I was doing all my Dawkins and Hitchens and all the kids were Christian so I was like really getting off to the debates.

My first piece of advice is to read this book called Why Does He Do That?

That book changed my life because it is about people who are in relationships with sociopaths.

And the one thing about that book is it kind of is about how to stay in the relationship with sociopaths?

Dr. Julie Smith is a clinical psychologist, online educator and author of the book, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?

So all of my videos are really around and the book and stuff is all around sharing that really useful set of tools that people can use.

I remember like it was like years ago going to my mom and being like, mom, like I'm having really weird feelings. Like, is it weird that I think I'm like in love with this fictional serial killer?

Mom, why am I tingling when I watch this show? While I'm watching the serial killer cut people up.

But there's something about him. I know, I'm surprised like that's your show. I'm drawn to him.

I would suggest you go watch that.

Go listen to a fucking self-help book that was recorded for you on ebook

I had read the book at that point. So I knew the behind the scenes and the story and what this man had done and how he was abusing his power.

I couldn't put it down. I finished it in two days.

It's an amazing book.

It's really, really good.

I feel like that's a compliment. I felt like I was like reading a movie.

I autographed you a copy of my book that I released in 2021 called The Memory Librarian.

And it was originally published five years ago.

Our biggest fear was that people would say, what the hell are you talking about? I wasn't persistent anymore.

And basically what we discovered was that in part patriarchy persists because it serves a psychological function.

To be a patriarchal man, meaning a man that sort of disavows, disconnects from his vulnerability, his need for relationships, his emotional life, not only does that give him incredible access to material gain, it offers him a psychological armor in the world.

And so it's kind of like that woman who then says, oh, patriarchy, it might affect you, not me. I'm totally content.

I looked at a host of questions that tell stories rather than give you data points and information.

Stories bind us. Stories make us lean forward, tell me more.

Data that invites stories will elicit curiosity, will elicit the erotic and becomes the inkling for a romantic relationship.

I would love to, if you're willing, to answer a few questions with me today so we can show the daddy gang like, hey, these are the type of conversations.

It may be a little uncomfortable, but you're going to get to know someone and you're going to be able to have an immediate intimate connection with them rather than asking them where they went to college.

all of us are going to experience deep grief or loss at some point in our lives.

This really is as bad as you think.

I think just hearing that whatever you're experiencing is, makes perfect sense. Like that it is as bad as you think.

We've got so much coming at us trying to tell us it's not this bad. It is this bad. It is exactly as impossible as you feel like it is.

There is something so powerful and so medicinal in being seen in the truth of that and being allowed to tell the truth of what this is like for you right now.

In your book, It's Okay That You're Not Okay, you write, all of us are going to experience deep grief or loss at some point in our lives.

This really is as bad as you think. I mean, that's the opening line of It's Okay That You're Not Okay.

I do really encourage everyone to go read your book It's Okay That You're Not Okay because I feel like, you know, you do have such a great obviously grasp on it.

The self that many of us are enacting in the world, reacting to in the world from, again, is what I call in the book at least, our habit self.

I appreciate you explaining that so well because I think that self-awareness sometimes is such a broad topic that people like run from it.

I think it's really great how you talk about in the book and we're going to get into it a lot of examples of like the first, I think, step of also self-awareness is having some grace with yourself to knock it down on yourself.

I think when we're not conscious and a participant in all of the different moments where that's not, you know, of benefit to me to do, or the fact that maybe the scrolling is a distraction. Maybe the gym is a distraction.

Dr. Nicole I can't thank you enough Daddy Gang I really encourage you to read Nicole's book How to Meet Yourself I think that's also a great step to starting it's like sometimes reading and ingesting something within yourself and not having to you know do anything but just ingest it and see how it makes you feel and maybe what it brings up for you is a great step

I love when psychologists write on topics that they are experts on and also have personal experience with.

I wrote this book as like the book equivalent of like a vaccine and validation and skills of like, how can we help make something hard a little easier?

So if you are having a hard time with your relationship status, this is a really hard time to be single. There's such bad behavior on apps.

I really encourage anyone that's single go read this book. It really will probably help you feel less alone, more excited for the future and just more optimistic that life doesn't stop and end with a partner.

It starts and ends with you and what you're going to do with your life and the outlook that you're going to have on your dating life.

I was given an advance copy of his debut novel and I reviewed it for the paper. I thought it was fantastic. It's called War of the Encyclopedias.

and author of the book Stop Self-Sabotage.

You are redefining the meaning of positive body image. What is positive body image mean to you both?

In More Than A Body, we write like a chapter probably about this.

So in More Than A Body, we're writing about this concept that when you're comparing yourself, there are so many negative consequences to that.

When we write a lot about this and More Than A Body, as you push back on some of these oppressive beauty ideals that you thought you just had to play in because you're female, it's the price of being female.

Obviously, I think that having More Than A Body is like so important to like reflect back on.

So I think that they should read my book Nobody's Victim.

This is not a book plug.

It is actually a really helpful book for just understanding the different kind of taxonomies of abuse and then I feel like there's a code.