Call Her Daddy

She has authored two best-selling books Mating in Captivity And the book that we are here to talk about today The State of Affairs

I've read Mating in Captivity And now I'm reading The State of Affairs

I read her book Mating in Captivity but Esther is a psychotherapist.

We did like the first couple chapters.

If you guys want to go back and listen to that it was free therapy and drugs for all.

Like I said the other week esther perrell. She's really moving mountains over here people.

Okay, i'm feeling in my feels every time I read that book

So we figured why not throw a little fucking Esther Perel in here and really raise the level of Education on this podcast today daddy gang you're currently joining Lauren and I in book club.

It's called mating captivity and it is actually pretty eye-opening as delirious as we are It's pretty amazing and so we wanted to talk about some of it and just discuss it because we have nothing else to talk about We've already told you all our secrets.

Here is the premise of the book in this book Esther Perel set out to quote know if it's possible to keep desire alive in a long-term relationship to avoid its usual where and

She wants to know how or if you can hold on to that sense of aliveness and excitement and relationships When you look at dating We are essentially walking contradictions When you are single and you start to date You're looking essentially at some point for safety and predictability and stability but once you get that you start to crave the novelty and the change and the diversity and the Instability and so basically Esther is like can you keep passion alive?

While having a relationship that's safe and predictable which everyone wants while also pursuing a relationship that is exciting Mysterious and all inspiring in quote.

I've read Mating in Captivity and now I'm reading The State of Affairs, a whole book on cheating.

The research shows that when you get into a relationship because you're scared of being alone, raise your hand if you've ever got with someone because you were scared of being alone and single.

And I think I feel the opposite now. And it's really interesting where, and I'm sure you've gone through some form of this, but I found that as I became more externally successful, I wanted my wife to validate my external success.

You wrote in your book, in solitude we practice giving ourselves what we need before we expect it from someone else. People determine how to treat us in large part by observing how we treat ourselves. A relationship with someone else won't cure your relationship with yourself.

This is so fucking smart. I love this part. If there is a gap in how our parents raised us, we look to others to fill it. And if there is a gift in how our parents raised us, we look to others to give us the same.

Happiness actually sits at the intersection of gratitude and growth.

You're amazing. People loved you as always, as expected, but I think people love seeing that side of you and I'm just so grateful that you gave me that opportunity. So thank you so much.

Well, thank you because now we're going to learn from the master today. We're going to talk about love. The real reason you're here is you have a new book out, The Eight Rules of Love.

I read this and was like, daddy gang, every single person listening today, you are going to learn something because I learned so much from your book.

I've wrote a book about love and relationships and the first chapter is about being alone.

In solitude, we practice giving ourselves what we need before we expect it from someone else. People determine how to treat us in large part by observing how we treat ourselves. A relationship with someone else won't cure your relationship with yourself.

You're amazing. People loved you as always, as expected, but I think people love seeing that side of you and I'm just so grateful that you gave me that opportunity. So thank you so much.

We're going to talk about love. The real reason you're here is you have a new book out, The Eight Rules of Love.

I read this and was like, daddy gang, every single person listening today, you are going to learn something because I learned so much from your book.

What inspired you to write a book breaking down all things love related?

And then later in the day, I had this screen test for this book series that's about vampires.

And I was like, I don't really care about that. So hopefully I get this Disney, the rock film.

People told me like these books are pretty popular. I was like, hmm. Yeah, I've never heard of them.

But so I had no real concept except people telling me this could be something because the books are popular.

It's so interesting to remember, like Team Edward, Team Jacob and the dynamic how hard people went for those teams.

It's like the vampire shit. Same with Twilight. Like I'm obsessed.

It sounds like the um, Klaus's, what is Klaus's last name? Uh, Michelson.

I can't remember which book or which movie it was. I think I read it in the book. When he has sex with her and he breaks. When they go on the honeymoon and he like breaks the headboard in half and it's so hot. It's so hot.

I was atheist at the time and I was doing all my Dawkins and Hitchens and all the kids were Christian so I was like really getting off to the debates.

I was atheist at the time and I was doing all my my Dawkins and Hitchens and all the kids were Christian so I was really getting off to the debates and that's a fucking annoying kid.

I was atheist at the time and I was doing all my my Dawkins and Hitchens

It's called War of the Encyclopedias

I was given an advanced copy of his debut novel and I reviewed it for the paper. I thought it was fantastic. It's called War of the Encyclopedias.

I was given an advanced copy of his debut novel and I reviewed it for the paper.

I thought it was fantastic. It's called War of the Encyclopedias.

Have you read that book The Body Keeps the Score?

I haven't read it but it's fucking crazy.

It was actually an accident. Apparently, I didn't even know I could sue the doctor. Otherwise we should have done that. But I spoke about this in my book.

It was actually an accident. Apparently, I didn't even know I could sue the doctor.

But I spoke about this in my book.

A whole book on cheating

And reading your book is going to give people insight into The thing we all love to not talk about but also love to talk about

State Affairs is 10 years of working with infidelity And I don't think I'm at the bottom of it yet

I think that this book is helping Almost if anyone is getting cheated on Or even is cheating It almost helps to categorize it So that you have an idea of where you're at Because it can feel very debilitating When you're in the thick of it

And in the book you write that It is common to have sex In the wake of the discovery of the cheating

Her most recent book, The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity, explores why people cheat and provides guidance on what to do in the wake of discovering this ultimate form of betrayal.

and the book that we are here to talk about today, The State of Affairs.

I think it's because everybody has a cheating story, right? Whether you were cheated on, someone you know was cheated on, a family member, a parent and reading your book is going to give people insight into the thing we all love to not talk about, but also love to talk about.

I do think that this book is helping almost if anyone is getting cheated on or even is cheating. It almost helps to categorize it so that you have an idea of where you're at, because it can feel very debilitating when you're in the thick of it.

It feels like my entire life's journey thus far has been a perfectly crafted cocktail of situations that landed me at this borderline personality diagnosis. As if my biography could be written and titled, "How to Give Someone BPD, a step-by-step guide."

I think that when I read, you know, when you read something about like your astrological sign, you're like, that's so me. I feel like when I first discovered not only what BPD was, but how one can become diagnosed with it or what the things that have to sort of happen to a young developing mind in order to whatever, I literally was like, this is, this is, this feels scripted.

I know, I knew that it was the right diagnosis for me when I, when I was diagnosed with it because of course it just felt so right. But I just, yeah, I couldn't, it just felt like I was like, was this the goal in my life? Was for people to like give me this disorder? I don't understand it.

I really appreciate you saying that it's just hard to, it's hard to like think about my younger self. Sometimes I get really emotional about it because I just feel like I, of course, I'm really grateful for the place that I'm in and I'm really grateful for like the insight that I've been given and all of that stuff. But I just, I think about my younger self who, it just, I don't, yeah, there was so many times where it felt like the only way out was to end it.

And I just, I don't know. I just feel like I am grateful for sure for everything because I feel like I wouldn't be the person I am today if literally everything didn't happen. But it's hard to come to terms with a lot of these things and it's hard to not feel bitter, I think, towards people. Because, and that's the biggest thing that like my therapist who's amazing always says to me and she's like, I'm so glad that you've never turned cold to people and you're still like warm and fuzzy and friendly and you wanna be friends with everyone and you still have like faith in people.

You just released your memoir, The Half of It. And I am so happy for you because again, I feel like the internet has a way to like dehumanize people to come up with narratives and storylines. And like it really was powerful reading your book. I read the whole thing.

In your memoir, you write about one of the most traumatic experiences that you experienced in your rise of fame and your career.

I also discussed this in my book I had to hire a web sheriff is something that I didn't even know existed out of my own money every dollar I'd earned up until that point in my career I then spent on clearing this and scrubbing it from the internet.

It feels like my entire life's journey thus far has been a perfectly crafted cocktail of situations that landed me at this borderline personality diagnosis as if my biography could be written and titled how to give someone BPD a step-by-step guide.

I'm like how to give someone it like this shit happened to you but you're alive and you're here and you've like powered through thankfully.

You got some good books up here... You got Pussypedia behind you.

You got Pussypedia behind you.

for the first one, I was like, I want it to be a handbook so that if I wanted to keep going, the theme could change.

It's always still like a basic bitch handbook to something.

For the first one, I was like, I want it to be a handbook so that if I wanted to keep going, the theme could change. So it's always still like a basic bitch handbook to something. It's just depending on what's going on in my life.

You have written two New York times bestsellers.

Also this third one it's it's harder. Cause like, I'm, I'm really trying to be the way that I write. It's like, I have to be specific about like with one thesis and then everything spiders from that.

I worked on the proposal six months, six months I worked and it wasn't like that for my second book.

And like my first book actually came a lot quicker to me.

My first book actually came a lot quicker to me.

Also this third one it's it's harder. Cause like, I'm, I'm really trying to be the way that I write. It's like, I have to be specific about like with one thesis and then everything spiders from that.

And like my first book actually came a lot quicker to me.

Also this third one it's it's harder. Cause like, I'm, I'm really trying to be the way that I write. It's like, I have to be specific about like with one thesis and then everything spiders from that. And I'm just like struggling.

For the first one, I was like, I want it to be a handbook so that if I wanted to keep going, the theme could change. So it's always still like a basic bitch handbook to something. It's just depending on what's going on in my life.

I was atheist at the time and I was doing all my my Dawkins and Hitchens and all the kids were Christian so I was really getting off to the debates and that's a fucking annoying kid.

I was atheist at the time and I was doing all my my Dawkins and Hitchens

Like the other day I was flying somewhere, Philadelphia to Vancouver, and I read an entire book, this book called The Great Alone by Kristen Hannah.

And it's like 600 pages and I read it in one flight and I was like, fuck yeah.

And then I read another book the next day because I was like, oh yeah, I want to read another book because you forget how great reading is.

and I read an entire book, this book called The Great Alone by Kristen Hannah.

And it's like 600 pages and I read it in one flight and I was like, fuck yeah.

And then I read another book the next day because I was like, oh yeah, I want to read another book because you forget how great reading is.

Jennifer's book, A Map to Your Soul, is a guide to getting to know yourself so that you're better able to navigate life challenges such as a breakup, a job loss, or a lack of drive.

And like I said, it's a guide to getting to know yourself better so that you can just be able to navigate life's challenges better.

If you read A Map to Your Soul just by yourself or with a friend, because there's lots of exercises or with a partner with family members, it doesn't matter.

The book is the key to just living a bigger, larger you.

And so A Map to Your Soul is my gift to the world of saying, become more of who you are so everyone can love you better and you can feel much more satisfied being all of you.

Jennifer's book, A Map to Your Soul, is a guide to getting to know yourself so that you're better able to navigate life challenges such as a breakup, a job loss, or a lack of drive.

there's so many themes in your book, A Map to Your Soul. And like I said, it's a guide to getting to know yourself better so that you can just be able to navigate life's challenges better.

If you read A Map to Your Soul just by yourself or with a friend, because there's lots of exercises or with a partner with family members, it doesn't matter.

The book is the key to just living a bigger, larger you.

A Map to Your Soul is my gift to the world of saying, become more of who you are so everyone can love you better and you can feel much more satisfied being all of you.

Well, I usually stay by the fire and I like to read and I read a lot of metaphysical books but right now I am reading whatever that new adult version of Twilight book that's out.

It's like an erotic fairy book.

Yeah, I'm reading that. Does it like kind of making a honey? I haven't gotten to the horny part yet. But I know that I'm going to get there because I know he has like the ability to bind her energetically with magic and I'm already like I'm here for that.

I'm like, I don't understand it. Maybe I need to read it. I'm not there yet but I feel like you should.

I need a man on top of me sometimes, you know what I mean? And like, that's another thing sexually. I'm like, yes, like own it. I need to feel it.

Like Carrie says in sex, I need to feel the weight of a man on top of me.

but you know or like Jane Austin or something but like this is a woman who's well into what she thinks is a very comfortable life and then realizes oh my god I'm living in the bubble I had no idea all these other things were out there and I had no idea that I had it could find purpose in my life and you

I remember there was a series. I'm glad you asked so I have a chance to shout it out. It's called Warriors.

It was about these cats that lived in clans and tribes and it just had me fucking hooked.