The Jordan Harbinger Show

it's from an Emily Mann wrote a play called Still Life

I did read your book to prep for this.

Oh and well that is ancient.

Yeah I'm shocked. You can find a copy it's not able actually it's great because the ending is seemingly just a bunch of bits that you're like I don't know where to put these in the books.

Yeah yeah here's my opinions on a million things yeah the publisher wanted that

oh really nice yeah it's good and then you have uh I don't know if I'm supposed to spoil the ending here but you have George to Kai do a reading of one of the chapters

I did read your book to prep for this.

Oh and well that is ancient.

Yeah I'm shocked. You can find a copy it's not available actually it's great because the ending is seemingly just a bunch of bits that you're like I don't know where to put these in the books.

Yeah yeah here's my opinions on a million things yeah the publisher wanted that.

Oh really nice yeah it's good and then you have uh I don't know if I'm supposed to spoil the ending here but you have George to Kai do a reading of one of the chapters.

When I read what you had written me, it sounded like a nice, interesting and unique-ish take on thinking in bets from Annie Duke.

The future is fundamentally uncertain and thinking about it as a probability distribution is so helpful for getting clarity in lots of things, including how to calibrate your confidence in that uncertain future.

Just because confident people are more likely to win athletic contests and succeed in business and get elected to political office does not mean that their confidence was causal in those outcomes.

Fooling yourself into being more confident can lead you to want to trick yourself into being more confident, and although there are some circumstances in which more confidence might increase your chance of success...

Confidence is either a side effect of success or a non-causal relationship, or it actually causes you to be less successful because you were overconfident.

a lot of people are mixing up correlation with causation...just because confident people are more likely to win athletic contests and succeed in business and get elected to political office does not mean that their confidence was causal in those outcomes

fooling yourself into being more confident...that's a brittle confidence that puts you at risk of taking bad risks that don't ultimately pay off

confidence is either a side effect of success or non-causal relationship or it actually causes you to be less successful because you were overconfident

I'm 70% sure instead of either I'm definitely sure or I have no idea

consider the opposite...think about other perspectives...consider different perspectives...explicitly asking yourself why you might be wrong

Recommendation of the week: Three Identical Strangers this is going to blow your mind so check this this is a true story this guy goes to college I don't know in the eighties and it's this first day and everyone goes oh Eddie you're back this guy's name is Chris or something right so hey your back women are kissing him people are coming up congratulating hey you're back I'm so glad to see you you know this is like a shy quiet guy and he's wondering what the hell is going on he goes to his dorm room and a guy pops in and goes who the hell are you and he goes oh hey I'm Chris nice to meet you he goes no no no who are you you look exactly like Eddie and he's like everybody's been calling me Eddie and he goes hold on man we got a ditch class they run out they go to a pay phone they call this guy who the guy who ran in the room was like Eddie's old roommate and he's like Eddie there's a guy in college he looks exactly like you and Eddie's like what are you talking about so they drive to his house he's got a twin brother oh my god never met him at both of them are adopted oh man well wait for it yeah so they make the news because their twin separated at birth what are the odds that right well this guy is is walking to school he picks up you know a newspaper or something like that and there's a story about these two twin separated at birth he runs home and as soon as he walks on the door his mom throws a newspaper as chest and goes have you seen this and he goes these two guys look exactly like me and we have the same birthday there you go so they're triplets separated at birth and it's all this funny thing made international news the guys are hilarious they're all like this jovial cool guys whatever and then of course plot twist some stuff that it all is not well right it's there's a reason that three triplets got separated at birth and it's not because they couldn't find families for them and all this other stuff it turns out to be this really unusual set of circumstances that is both creepy and fascinating at the same time three Identical Strangers check it out on Amazon Prime YouTube Google Play will link to that in the show notes as well

recommendation of the week three Identical Strangers this is going to blow your mind so check this this is a true story this guy goes to college i don't know in the eighties and it's this first day and everyone goes oh Eddie you're back this guy's name is Chris or something right so hey your back women are kissing him people are coming up congratulating hey you're back i'm so glad to see you you know this is like a shy quiet guy and he's wondering what the hell is going on he goes to his dorm room and a guy pops in and goes who the hell are you and he goes oh hey i'm Chris nice to meet you he goes no no no who are you you look exactly like Eddie and he's like everybody's been calling me Eddie and he goes hold on man we got a ditch class they run out they go to a pay phone they call this guy who the guy who ran in the room was like eddie's old roommate and he's like eddie there's a guy in college he looks exactly like you and eddie's like what are you talking about so they drive to his house he's got a twin brother oh my god never met him at both of them are adopted oh man well wait for it

so they make the news because their twin separated at birth what are the odds that right well this guy is is walking to school he picks up you know a newspaper or something like that and there's a story about these two twin separated at birth he runs home and as soon as he walks on the door his mom throws a newspaper as chest and goes have you seen this and he goes these two guys look exactly like me and we have the same birthday there you go so they're triplets separated at birth and it's all this funny thing made international news the guys are hilarious they're all like this jovial cool guys whatever and then of course plot twist some stuff that it all is not well right it's there's a reason that three triplets got separated at birth and it's not because they couldn't find families for them and all this other stuff it turns out to be this really unusual set of circumstances that is both creepy and fascinating at the same time three Identical Strangers check it out on Amazon Prime YouTube Google Play will link to that in the show notes as well

Take Your Pills was just as good as you said it was and I wouldn't have known without you.

Take Your Pills was just as good as you said it was and I wouldn't have known without you.

Crises cost organizations time, money, customers, and ultimately their career and candidly in the worst case of scenarios lives.

And by the way, if you know people in your life who are motivated by a few of those categories, you better take inventory of who you hang around with.

the book title is The Art of Crisis Leadership save time money customers and ultimately your career slash family slash life that that's that cannot be overstated

I don't believe that it's something to be afraid of. I believe it's a growth strategy because it's going to happen and that's where true leaders earn their money.

crisis is an opportunity it's a growth strategy that's kind of the big idea I've had you know I speak to a bunch of Brian presidents next week and I'm going to talk about this very concept because when I say that eyebrows raise and people look at me like I'm crazy and I said no no no you don't understand this is a growth strategy you have to expect it.

Crises cost organizations time, money, customers and ultimately your career and candidly in the worst case of scenarios lives.

And customers and ultimately your career is the tagline on that one night.

Crisis is a growth strategy - you have to expect it.

I don't believe that it's something to be afraid of. I believe it's a growth strategy because it's going to happen and that's where true leaders earn their money.

the book title is The Art of Crisis Leadership save time money customers and ultimately your career slash family slash life that that's that cannot be overstated

It's an intimidating read man.

It's loaded with historical examples of Leaders.

We wanted to do a Plutarch based study of Leadership go back to sort of first principles because we realized we really didn't think we understood Leadership like we thought we did.

These were founders who created something from whole cloth they created companies they created empires they created brands but they were not easy people to work for.

We didn't know these myths when we started this book and this was an interesting process because we didn't have a hard thesis. We let our study and the profiles pull us where they did and and what we came to fairly early in the process was the confirmation that Leadership isn't something we truly understand.

It's a big tome. There's a lot in there.

We actually wanted to do the the research in a in a thoughtful way.

We figured out who should we do and at one point we said well, we should have genres and we determined that power brokers would be one and geniuses would be one and heroes would be one.

We didn't know these myths when we started this book and this was an interesting process because we didn't have a hard thesis.

The formulaic says that if we can get the traits if we're born with the right traits or if we can develop the right behaviors, we're going to be an effective leader.

He's also the author of a book called angel how to invest in technology startups timeless advice from an angel investor who turned a hundred grand into a hundred million dollars, and I think he's way over that now of course.

But I highly recommend that book if you're an angel investor and or if you're a startup founder who may eventually look for funding?

Which is available here if you ask a good question and not available if you ask a bad question yep after this you tell that story where you're just sitting at home one day and it's like you get rated by the FBI.

The book has just been translated on Friday.

And I'm like oh wow there's a nine bedroom modern home in Tokyo that I could rent and bring my entire team and it's a thousand bucks a night wow that's like a hundred bucks a room this is an incredible deal and I'm like considering using Airbnb.

He sold one of the first blogging networks to AOL and is generally considered Silicon Valley royalty. He's also the author of a book called angel how to invest in technology startups timeless advice from an angel investor who turned a hundred grand into a hundred million dollars, and I think he's way over that now of course.

But I highly recommend that book if you're an angel investor and or if you're a startup founder who may eventually look for funding?

But even if you're not there's plenty in here for everyone else as well.

Which is available here if you ask a good question and not available if you ask a bad question yep after this you tell that story where you're just sitting at home one day and it's like you get rated by the FBI.

I'm surprised that that made you want to maybe join them later.

His new book is called The Science of Intelligent Achievement and will be discussing why busy people are easily manipulated.

I love this. It's the funniest, the back and forth is the best. I'd recommend it.

And I love that you said that because that is the belief, but it's a false belief.

I think that the word that you used, prove yourself first is the key word, context matters.

I think it makes sense to really focus on, look, how can I prove to my boss that this makes sense for me?

His new book is called The Science of Intelligent Achievement

I love that you said that because that is the belief, but it's a false belief.

I think it should be taken with a little caveat here though, if you're 25 and this is your first job out of college and you've been there for one month, don't go to your boss and say, you know, all these all hands meetings we do every morning. These are not a good use of my time. I'm better off utilized elsewhere.

And I had a friend who worked at Twitter and this actually goes for a lot of Silicon Valley companies. He was invited to or and I put that in air quotes, invited to a lot of meetings and he was in sales. And so he went, I'm not going to these anymore because when I go to these, I can't call my clients. I can't go and sell two million dollars worth of ads to Comcast.

I've been friends with him for years he's just a smart cookie that Dr. Henkel and his name is really fun to say

I threw this book out, 'Play Poker Like the Pros', in front of the wave.

and then a year later Harper Collins calls me up and I'm like, wow, New York phone call, better pick this up on my cell phone.

and they're like, Phil, where are you? I'm like, Lowe's Hotel, Santa Monica, and we just... son a bottle of dump her in the onto your room, you're now a New York Times best seller.

and I walked around high for two weeks because that's another life goal choop yeah.

I threw this book out, 'Play Poker Like the Pros', in front of the wave.

In fact his book is called Poker Brat.

In my book 'Poker Brat' I call that 'I Can See the Light' chapter.

In fact his book is called 'Poker Brat'.

In my book 'Poker Brat' I call that 'I can see the light' chapter.

I almost didn't include the slant system in the book, I was a little sensitive about this, but I put it out there on a book that I think is going to sell tons of copies.

In the book there's a lot of hands that you seem to remember exactly what happened when it happened.

I talk about in 'Poker Brat' and I talk about in 'Positivity' getting rid of hate in your life.

Joan of R will tell you it's 99% the eyes, the eyes do not lie.

read the book to discover yeah, whether it's the contraction or the expansion, that's a lie.

Read 'Em and Weep to find out that stuff.

we had a New York Times best seller called 'Read 'Em and Weep', which has some great stuff in there for people that don't have great reading abilities.

Read the book to discover, yeah, whether it's the contraction or the expansion, that's a lie.

Read 'Em and Weep to find out that stuff.

it's my theory that you know and then you can square your entitlement too, let's just say that you do see something that you've done poorly in the past or bad in the past, then you have to forgive yourself for that or maybe do something to correct that right to make up for that.

in my book 'Positivity' I'm talking to the American public, I'm talking to the global public and I think that there are ways to increase your entitlement and therefore increase your sense, sense of worthiness.

I'm convinced I'm going to help millions of people think bigger and do more with their lives.

and poker brat takes 15 hours, 15, you need a lunch break in the middle so yeah, it is my theory that you know...

I'm talking to the American public, I'm talking to the global public, and I think that there are ways to increase your entitlement and therefore increase your sense, sense of worthiness.

I'm convinced I'm going to help millions of people think bigger and do more with their lives.

I just read 'Poker Brat', by the way, if you're gonna read both of those, set the whole weekend aside because it's total I think it's like 16 hours reading.

well 'Positivity' takes one hour right and 'Poker Brat' takes 15 hours.

There's a book that I think is really good called Breaking Free from the Victim Trap from Diane Zimmeroff.

There's a book that I think is really good called 'Breaking Free from the Victim Trap' from Diane Zimberoff. She's really good.

He's also the author of War On The Boards: A Rebounding Manual.

It's a great book I wish I had in my 20s but I probably wait to stubborn and arrogant to listen to any of the advice in here.

It's not about being some sort of manly man who shoots things and eats them. A lot of this stuff is counter to the narrative of being some sort of unfeeling hardass. And I was really pleased to see that.

So the book Sovereignty, the battle for the hearts and minds of men, great title really fits your brand.

I don't even think I talked about hunting in the book maybe I did I don't know there's not a shred of that in there from memory and or is it like you know this is going to be this I actually notice a lot of the book was counter to the narrative being some sort of unfeeling hardass and I was pleased to see that

Ryan thank you very much man the book is called Sovereignty the battle for the hearts and minds of men with that will be linked up in the show notes as always thanks so much for coming on today

It's a great book I wish I had in my 20s but I probably wait to stubborn and arrogant to listen to any of the advice in here.

It's not about being some sort of manly man who shoots things and eats them. A lot of this stuff is counter to the narrative of being some sort of unfeeling hardass. And I was really pleased to see that.

So the book Sovereignty, the battle for the hearts and minds of men, great title really fits your brand.

I don't even think I talked about hunting in the book maybe I did I don't know there's not a shred of that in there from memory and or is it like you know this is going to be this I actually notice a lot of the book was counter to the narrative being some sort of unfeeling hardass and I was pleased to see that

So the book Sovereignty, the battle for the hearts and minds of men if you enjoyed this don't forget to thank Ryan on Twitter that'll all be linked up in the show notes for this episode which can be found at jordanharbanger.com slash podcast

Duana Wells... She's a friend of the show and author of Love Factually, see what you did there.

I'm writing my second book now and I just finished a couple chapters about evolutionary psychology, jealousy, how to tell if you're with somebody dangerous, those sorts of things.

the book title is Love Factually she's doing another one of course she'll be back as soon as that's ready for action

Duana Wells...author of Love Factually, see what you did there.

I'm writing my second book now and I just finished a couple chapters about evolutionary psychology, jealousy, how to tell if you're with somebody dangerous, those sorts of things.

the book title is Love Factually she's doing another one of course she'll be back as soon as that's ready for action

I'm either going to kill myself or I'm going to turn recovery into a game

You only go as high as your five closest friends or you're the average of the five closest people around you

The problem when most of us when we meet someone is we assume that like if they're not immediately useful to me now then this is a waste of my time then we start doing the the eyes looking over thing even unintentionally right and then we become the very jerk that we hated from the same event.

You have a very different question you are asking in your mind okay I can't help this person but who can I connect this person to that could help them with this. You're taking care of the entirety of the network that's around you and over time the network started taking care of you and bringing those connections to you.

I think the lesson here and again this is why the book is called Friend of a Friend not like how to be a power network scientisty whatever right is that we know this is kind of true on our personal side and we know that the people that were around us affect us personally but we tend to like put networking in a box and think it's only about professional networking and it's only about adding more context and in reality like your friend of a friend is your future your whole network around you affects the decisions you're gonna make how happy you're gonna be how satisfied with your life you're gonna be and so there's no excuse for not being intentional about it because it's affecting you in more ways than you know if you want control over that then you have to start looking at your whole network seeing all of it how people are interacting and connecting to each other so that you can navigate it accordingly to get what you want out of life.

The problem when most of us when we meet someone is we assume that like if they're not immediately useful to me now then this is a waste of my time, then we start doing the the eyes looking over thing even unintentionally right and then we become the very jerk that we hated from the same event.

You have a very different question you are asking in your mind okay I can't help this person but who can I connect this person to that could help them with this.

You're taking care of the entirety of the network that's around you and over time the network started taking care of you and bringing those connections to you.

I'm either going to kill myself or I'm going to turn recovery into a game.

I'm not good at it at all that's why it took 12 years it's because I don't have the systems or didn't have the systems until recently.