10% Happier with Dan Harris

there's a wonderful i think i quoted in the book in the the 18th century wonderful novel Tristram Shandie where uncle Toby who is a very abhorious great and wonderful figure has been sitting at lunch and a fly has been buzzing around and being frightfully irritating all throughout lunch and what finally uncle Toby manages to trap that fly and then he takes it out saying dear fly i'm not going to kill you why should i live rather than you and talking to it in this gentle way he then takes it across and lets it out of the window and the narrator says that he never forgot that aspect of uncle Toby and i've got a bit like that now about flies myself i don't like to see them buzzing around or even wasps letting them out just making yourself aware you can't get fanatical about this but picking yourself aware that these things have precious life of their own

And she's the author of a book called Boundless Heart and Co-author of another book called Mindfulness, Ancient Wisdom meets Modern Psychology.

And she's the author of a book called Boundless Heart and Co-author of another book called Mindfulness, Ancient Wisdom meets Modern Psychology.

my last book was Mindfulness ancient wisdom meets contemporary psychology

Her book The End of Bias of Beginning, The Science and Practice of Overcoming Unconscious Bias is the culmination of 10 years of reporting and writing on the subject of bias and discrimination and how to solve it.

Since we first posted this interview back in January, her book has become a finalist for both the New York Public Library, Helen Bernstein Award for Excellence in Journalism and the Lucas Prize for Excellence in Nonfiction. And the book just came out in paperback.

She has written a sleeper hit book on the subject called, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents.

My guest today has written a sleeper-hit book on this subject with more than 10,000 five-star reviews on Amazon. Lindsay C. Gibson is a clinical psychologist and the author of Adult Children of Emotionally Imature Parents among other books.

The first book is Who You Were Met To Be that came out long time ago in 2000. The book that we've been mostly concentrating on today is Adult Children of Emotionally Imature Parents.

And I call this the maturity awareness approach and it's in my first book of the adult children of emotionally mature parents.

And then the next book is called Recovering from Emotionally Imature Parents. This has actually turned into a series.

And the third book is called Self Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. And that's the first two books really talk about the syndrome and what you can do about it. And then the third book is Self Care in the sense of its little short insights into yourself and EIPs in a way that you can read, you know, at the beach by the pool before you go to bed.

The first book is Who You Were Met To Be that came out long time ago in 2000.

And then my next book, which is called Disentangling from EIPs, is going to be out in July of 2023.

Her latest is called The Buddhist Anyagram 9 Paths to Warrior Ship.

This book is called the Buddhist Anyagram 9 paths to worship

previous books I've written include The Wisdom of a Broken Heart

and The Four Noble Truths of Love Buddhist wisdom from modern relationships

Their new book, Let's Talk: An Essential Guide to Skillful Communication concisely summarizes their teachings and they're coming on the show today to walk us through some of the key learnings from this book.

Mudita and Dan have now written a book which concisely summarizes their teachings and they're coming on the show today to walk you through some of the key learnings.

Their new book is called Let's Talk and Essential Guide to Skillful Communication.

sure our new book is Let's Talk subtitle an essential guide to skillful communication and our site is Let's Talk method dot com

Jeff is the co-author of NY Times Bestseller "Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics,"

You know, are they bad, evil, stupid, jerks? Or do they belong to us and they are unshakably good? Well, then that's where I'm going to vote. Nobody well or whole or healthy has ever believed that not all men and women are created equal.

And now he has written a book, which I was unaware of. So I should probably check that out.

He's also a visiting professor of Buddhist philosophy at Harvard Dominity School. He's the author of multiple books, including his latest which is called Losing Ourselves, Learning to Live Without A Self.

Well here's what I've got in mind as I try to explain in the book I think that human beings are kind of wired for the illusion that what we really are deep down ourselves a kind of substantial entity that stands behind our mind and our body that acts on the world, that observes the world but isn't really part of the world. That's permanent continuing and that we have immediate access to it and I think that's a very, very powerful cognitive illusion to which we're all subject and I think like many illusions it's an illusion that we are well advised to shed to get rid of.

And so part of the point of the book is to explain the nature of the illusion why it's an illusion why it's a dangerous illusion and how to think about our own existence differently so that we actually can help ourselves lose the identity of the self.

The illusion is that there's some unchanging, immutable nugget of Dan behind my eyes peering fretfully out through the sockets at the world from which I am separate.

The book is Losing Ourselves how to be a person without a self and you can find that wherever good books are sold and so I do hope that people enjoy it and I hope to hear from people who disagree with it or who agree with it

Another recent book of mine that might be of interest is my book on Buddhist Ethics called Buddhist Ethics the philosophical exploration

and my book Engaging Buddhism why it matters to philosophy but that's very much not a general audience book it's a book for philosophers

She's written a whole book about it in fact. It's called Bittersweet.

In this book, she explores how the capacity to tune in to the inherent joy and sadness of the human situation can be a superpower for connection.

But I also talk about bitter sweetness as a way of being in the world, a kind of recognition of the way that joy and sorrow are forever paired and that everyone and everything we love most in this world is not going to be here forever but that somehow the more you become attuned to these truths, to these realities, the more dialed in you become to a kind of joy at the beauty of the world.

I would say that some people are kind of sort of enter the world predisposed to this Bittersweet state. And I'm guessing that's about 15 to 20% of people and I say that because that's the number of people who are born with a highly sensitive temperament.

The book I've been checking out lately is called Devil Makes Three. It's by Ben Fountain.