Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Shortly after we did summer s'mores last year, I went on a book tour for my book, The World's Worst Assistant, available in bookstores everywhere right now.

You wrote a book about pretty much where you laid bare your work ethic and some of your misadventures.

What about when your kids find that book?

World's Worst Assistant by Sonam Ovsassian. Available in bookstores everywhere, you know? New York Times.

Because it'll be in print as long as Catch-22 by Joseph Heller.

But I think there's going to be, like, you know, there's me talking about weed and dating boys.

Thanks for reading it.

That's so cool. Thank you.

Some of our listeners may have noticed that Sona Movsassian has taken a temporary leave of absence. She's been out promoting her new book, World's Worst Assistant.

Terrific, terrific effort by Sona. It's a really funny book. It's out there and she's flogging that. She'll be back soon.

But this is an opportunity... Sona's not here, which means we can dish on Sona and we can be completely honest.

And to help us do that is Sona's own assistant who pretty much does everything since the minute he was hired because, well if you read Sona's book, you'll find that she never really was my assistant and soon she'll be back continuing not being my assistant.

Yes, that's true. Now you're the assistant, not just for me, but for Jeff Ross as well, because we've really pared things down a bit here.

I have to say, I read the book, my wife read the book. We both thought it was spectacular.

You are very honest. There are some real, you are quite honest in this book about the ways in which you took advantage of my kindness and idiocy to make that job a boondoggle for you.

And you give great advice for how people can emulate you.

I think that there's a lot that I have gotten away with, but I think it's a credit to you because especially now there's a lot of conversation about like shitty bosses and you are not a shitty boss.

I think that I have a prediction that fans of this podcast, because I'm constantly meeting people who listen to the podcast, they always ask me, and it's funny, I used to get this a lot when I would for years and years and years when I was doing the late night show or the Conan show, wherever I was, I could be anywhere in the world and people would say, where's Andy?

Sona's got a book that's coming out called World's Worst Assistant.

I do, yeah. That she wrote that's really good.

And I wrote the foreword and I'm quite honest in the foreword, I believe.

She is the author of the humorous book The World's Worst Assistant.

You wrote a book called World's Worst Assistant.

You wrote the foreword for it.

She is the author of the humorous book The World's Worst Assistant.

You wrote a book called World's Worst Assistant.

You wrote the foreword for it.

Your first book, which was a smash hit, World's Worst Assistant. I don't see why it was so popular, because it's just a book about truth.

my first encounter with him because I grew up on The Godfather movies and then Serpico and Dog Day Afternoon and he is such above a star to me he's something else

There's no way this can be good because it's someone saying, no, we're doing a TV show about The Godfather one and two. I just think that's going to be terrible.

Francis Ford Coppola is going to make The Godfather.

I was obsessed with The Godfather. One of the first movies I saw was The Godfather 2.

This is the game Marlon Brando was playing when he secured the role for The Godfather.

Let me say that I know from reading your book, which by the way, let me just give the title of this book, Every Man for Himself and God Against All.

I read your book and you describe yourself as a bit of a loner.

And in my book I describe quite a bit about it.

I refuse to think of it as stealing. You said, 'I was exercising a natural right to put the camera to its intended use.'

And I've published at least 10 books and I have acted in at least 20 films and I have staged operas.

Conan, today you are Fitzcarraldo. And it's up to you to get me up and over that mountain in the Peruvian jungle. And let's face it, it might not be worth it when we get there. Your friend Luke.

I wrote my memoirs, Every Man for Himself and God Against All.

I wrote my memoirs, Every Man for Himself and God Against All.

Of course, the famous book by Robert Caro that depicts the life of Robert Moses.

I have so much admiration for his process and I'm always trying to feel this, get this sense of what, um, what is it about this guy that I like, I want to try and emulate.

And then finally he gets this this brother to say, you know, yeah, those are all stories I told. Wasn't really what happened. And then he gets him to go back into that room where they used to sit and have dinner. And he pushes him and pushes him and pushes him and finally gets the brother to relive that moment between Lyndon Johnson and his father.

And any of us, even if we consider ourselves perfectionists or people who care about our work, we would have signed off long ago. Absolutely. Would have said like, you know, we've got a pretty good book here. I mean, this is a pretty good book. I think we're good.

Well, how did you talk to him? Well, I talked to everybody I could find who worked at that summer camp. And as if that was just, well, why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't you talk to every single person who ever worked at the place where Moses' parents used to spend their summers?

Of course, the famous book by Robert Caro that depicts the life of Robert Moses.

I mean, the story about, I still don't have it. I still don't have the full sense of Lyndon Johnson's relationship with his dad as a young man.

And then finally he gets this this brother to say, you know, yeah, those are all stories I told. Wasn't really what happened.

There's a story in The Power Broker where Robert Moses' mom reads a newspaper article that says he's been fined for breaking the law.

Well, how did you talk to him? Well, I talked to everybody I could find who worked at that summer camp.

Yeah, Robert Caro couldn't write a book to save his life. Yeah, overrated.

Talking to Strangers is great, but you know what's really amazing is the audio book.

It's this terrific book that talks about how we think we know people assumptions that we make, how we don't really know sometimes who we're talking to that our assumptions are incorrect.

It's available by the way on audible anyway.

one of the reasons I love that book so much is that you pretty much reveal that we don't know what other people are thinking. We're not able to judge other people.

And actually, I begin the book with that story about my dad.

Talking to Strangers is great, but you know what's really amazing is the audio book.

It's this terrific book that talks about how we think we know people, assumptions that we make, how we don't really know sometimes who we're talking to, that our assumptions are incorrect.

It really adds a whole other dimension to the book.

one of the reasons I love that book so much is that you pretty much reveal that we don't know what other people are thinking.

And actually, I begin the book... I don't remember, but I begin the book with that story about my dad.

I was reading, I think it was a Malcolm Gladwell book recently. And they talk about how the most effective torture still is sleep deprivation. And it's why fraternities do it. It's just, it works.

You live very simply, as Thoreau told us to. Thoreau told us that we should live very simple lives.

Star Wars, the novelization of Rise of Skywalker? Yes. It was written by Henry David Thoreau in 1855.

Star Wars, the novelization of Rise of Skywalker? Yes. It was written by Henry David Thoreau in 1855.

My guest today is a hilarious comedian who starred in the Netflix series Lady Dynamite. She now has a new memoir titled Sure, I'll Join Your Cult. A memoir of mental illness and the quest to belong anywhere. Maria Bamford, welcome.

And that's why I wanted to talk to you because you've written a book, Sure, I'll Join Your Cult, which is a fantastic title. Sure, I'll Join Your Cult by Maria Bamford.

And you are adored. You are a beloved stand-up comic and you wrote a fantastic book.

And I just wanted to say start off by saying congratulations. And to everyone listening right now, go get this book. It's fantastic.

There's so much that you're thinking about all the time and it all goes back to this. I want you to say compulsion to think and consider everything.

My guest today is a hilarious comedian who starred in the Netflix series Lady Dynamite. She now has a new memoir titled Sure, I'll Join Your Cult. A memoir of mental illness and the quest to belong anywhere. Maria Bamford, welcome.

And that's why I wanted to talk to you because you've written a book, Sure, I'll Join Your Cult, which is a fantastic title. Sure, I'll Join Your Cult by Maria Bamford.

And you are adored. You are a beloved stand-up comic and you wrote a fantastic book.

And I just wanted to say start off by saying congratulations. And to everyone listening right now, go get this book. It's fantastic.

She now has a new memoir titled Sure, I'll Join Your Cult. A memoir of mental illness and the quest to belong anywhere.

Sure, I'll Join Your Cult by Maria Bamford and you are adored. You are a beloved stand-up comic and you wrote a fantastic book and I just wanted to start off by saying congratulations and to everyone listening right now go get this book.

I've had the honor of talking with former First Lady Michelle Obama a couple of times and one of the conversations we got into and that she talks about a lot in her book is the complications of, you know, she came from South Side of Chicago, but her parents were aspiring for her to have a better life and they put this sort of, I think, emphasis on her speaking well and studying hard.

And she remembered getting flack for that because she was saying, you know, she talked about that. She talked about getting flack for it's almost like trying to, I don't know how to put it, but trying to aspire to move up into this culture and then you realize how complicated that can be.

I got the book, Becoming, and I expected to learn a lot about you. I didn't expect to relate to as many things as I did in the book.

There's so much in your book that is about, and this is something that's a little bit of a religion for me, something that I'm religious about, which is people have a tendency to look at someone who they believe has made it and they don't understand everything it took for them to get there.

And it is amazing to me that, I mean, and then there's little details in there like you were 70s television, 1970s television. Mary Tyler Moore.

So there's a moment, there's so much in this book, I read the book and you talk about these time that was, you worked so hard. You have worked so hard in your life.

And I think that you've earned the right to go sit in a car right now and have some fast food and then go binge watch Sex and the City or whatever it is you want to do.

I got the book Becoming and I expected to learn a lot about you.

the last chapter of the book in Becoming is Conan is Resilient.

You read this book and I encourage you to read it because it's a fantastic book.

I went and saw you in New York and I watched you do, uh, Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross on Broadway and you were spectacular.

I don't know if anybody here saw it.

I, um, I went and saw you in New York and I watched you do, uh, Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross on Broadway and you were spectacular. I don't know if anybody here saw it.

It felt like David Mamet wrote this part for you. That's how it felt. Cause it's so fit your rhythm.

I'll be doing Glengarry Glen Ross on Broadway at the palace. That's fantastic.

The second book was The Devil May Dance and yeah, that's the Rat Pack. Sinatra is like a big character in it.

The second book was The Devil May Dance and yeah, that's the Rat Pack. Sinatra is like a big character in it.

Your book came out, "The Devil May Dance."

Devil May Dance takes place in 1961, 62.

The publisher did not ask me to do the audio book for this one.

It's what everything is around. It's like the structure, the chronological structure.

Jake Tapper, you're a scholar, you're a gentleman, you're multi-talented and The Devil May Dance is a lot of, it's a lot of fun. It's a good read.

And Sona has another book coming out. I just finished it. She's the author in the room. The World's Worst Mom. Yeah. World's Worst Mom.

I couldn't read the first one yet. I couldn't get it anywhere here. You should talk to your publisher.

And Sona has another book coming out. I just finished it. Yeah. She just finished reading it. Okay. Yeah. The World's Worst Mom. Yeah. World's Worst Mom. Wonderful.

This one's called World's Worst Mom. It's all about your adventures raising your two lovely boys. A.K.A. Monsters. They're lovely. They're monsters, but they're adorable.

I love, love, love... I'm a big Coen Brothers fan, but I love No Country for Old Men.

The scene you have where your character knows it's over, and you're sitting in your chair talking to an assassin who you know is going to kill you. It's this fidgety mixture of, I accept this, and I'm going to try and talk my way out of it at the same time. I love that performance.

That was in New Mexico, the one, No Country.

And I got these things out of the book, because it was a book, No Country.

My guest today is an Academy Award winning actor who has started his films as No Country for Old Men, Skyfall, and Vicky, Christina Barcelona.

I know you came on the show to promote it and had the nerve to show a clip of Anton Chigurh. And then minutes after showing that clip turned to me and told me that my hair looked stupid.

It is, to me, just a brilliant example. Clearly there's violence in every movie we've mentioned, but such a clear example of one of the most tense scenes I've ever watched and the tension is building and it's unbearable between you and this gas station attendant.

And we shot it in 30 minutes. Oh my God. It was the end of the day for me it was the scene where I had to speak the most. And I couldn't and if my English is bad now back in 2006 which is where the movie happened it was inexistent.

I am recently rereading the Harry Potter series, and I was reading the description of Ron Weasley. He's a tall redhead who's in the middle of, like, several children, and he's awkward, he's funny, kind of comic relief. He's always sort of just part of all the stories. He's hilarious.

Conan, I couldn't help but think of you as I was reading this, after having listened to the podcast and watching all of your just old clips on YouTube recently.

So I'm wondering, have you, when you've ever read the Harry Potter series or watched the movies, identified with Ron Weasley?

I'm glad you brought this up because this is a longstanding lawsuit I have with the Harry Potter people because I think I was ripped off.

I immediately identified this. I immediately identified this. I didn't read the books when the books came out. I didn't read the books. But when the movies came out and I saw that Ron, first of all, I said, when did they, how did they shoot me as a child? I was confused. How did they digitally put me into a movie?

And then I stay inside and I read Harry Potter books again.

There's this book called Moby Dick. Oh, no. By Melville.

Call me Ishmael.

There's this book called Moby Dick. Oh, no. By Melville. Is it okay if I just read the whole thing? You know what? Here we go. Page one.

I still think Gary Will's book on Gettysburg is how he wove the Declaration of Independence into the civil rights, into the Constitution, the fabric of it. I think that was a brilliant book.

I still think Gary Will's book on Gettysburg is how he wove the Declaration of Independence into the civil rights, into the Constitution, the fabric of it.

When you did Get Out, it's very important, as you said, if someone shows up, goes away for a weekend with his girlfriend and goes to a house, meet the family, if things are fucked up right away, they're out the door.

When you did Get Out, it's very important, as you said, if someone shows up, goes away for a weekend with his girlfriend and goes to a house, meet the family, if things are fucked up right away, they're out the door.

So you have all these reasons which I can relate to, which is, no, no, this is okay. This is all right.

I'm gonna stay here.

I'm gonna stay in this.

Okay, I can handle this.

And then things, you can, like you say, turn up the heat on the pot.

But how you do it and how gradually you do it is really important.

And that's the guest who's coming to dinner setup is one that everyone kind of connects to, which is that anxiety of meeting your in-laws for the first time or your potential in-laws and you wanna crawl out of your skin and leave, but you can't.

You're there for a reason.

So we all-

I just love too, there's like, is it Bradley Whiffer? He says, oh man, Obama, greatest president, right?

And you just think, okay, this is- I would have voted for him a third time.

But I was just thinking like, to me that's also a funny comedy situation too, which is this white person is way over, is pushing it.

Do you know what I mean?

Well, yeah, that was the element of it.

And I'm sorry I said that to you when you came in today.

Well, yeah, that you should- Obama, man, right?

A little tone deaf.

It was a little tone deaf.

There's just such a thing as being too colorblind.

You don't-

I'm sorry.

I was trying to get in good with you right away and it was weird.

You're good.

We know each other.

Yeah, but then I was saying he should be a Supreme Court justice and you said, let's let it go.

I like you too.

Yeah, I don't need to be cast as your judge.

I don't need to be president of the United States.

No, but look, I mean, we're obviously joking, but it's this, and it is in its essence, it's kind of a Key and Peele sketch.

It's an observation of being black in white spaces.

And in that time, I don't remember it having sort of been said like that.

And so, I remember just writing that and feeling like, it was the moment I realized I had to direct the film that I was writing.

Because I was like, I don't know anybody who can do that, who can direct that much.

Jaws was a huge best-selling book.

Jaws was a huge best-selling book.

I went on a Dostoevsky jag, and I just--I read--I finished Brothers Karamazov a couple of weeks ago, and I loved it. There are parts that are a bit of a slog, because it's Dostoevsky, and he had a lot of time on his hands and a lot of ink, but I really liked it, and I liked Crime and Punishment a lot.

I just read Brothers Karamazov.

I went on a Dostoevsky jag, and I just--I read--I finished Brothers Karamazov a couple of weeks ago, and I loved it. There are parts that are a bit of a slog, because it's Dostoevsky, and I really liked it, and I liked Crime and Punishment a lot.

Whether it's, whether like you brought up Chinatown, like, or like some of my favorite movies, like Bonnie and Clyde, movies that you immerse yourself in, like The Shining, like, like you, you forget yourself.

My neighbor saw The Shining before I did and told me about it, recounted it, and completely lied about it. He said that Jack Nicholson got his arm cut off and you know how a human can grow an arm back. He grows an arm back. And all this stuff. And I just was expecting.

I don't know if J.D. Salinger had that with Ketra and the Rye.

Remember that podcast we did with J.D. Salinger? The only time he'd ever been interviewed. And I did a whole podcast with him and I asked him all the stuff everyone's ever wanted to ask him, like who is Holden Caulfield? What's the inspiration?