Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life

In 2019, we did a project for Audible and by we, I mean my production studios, one, four, three studios. We do a ton of work with Audible creating original audio books for them. And this particular one was an audio book called Take Control of Your Life.

You're telling me right now that Take Control of Your Life is the number one selling Audible original audio book that they've ever done.

it was in researching the issue and topics of trauma and anxiety and how trauma and anxiety get trapped and stored in your nervous system and in your body.

It was during that project that it occurred to me for the very first time, holy shit, I have trauma.

Henry and I inside baseball are good friends.

And Henry and I inside baseball are good friends. We spend a lot of time together. Our wives do. And last winter he sent me a manuscript and I was sitting and reading it and tears running down my face.

And I went, Henry this is a different Henry Cloud book. This is way different than anything you've done.

The new book is out. It is officially a national bestseller. It came out a couple of weeks ago. Why I Believe, a Psychologist's Thoughts on Suffering, Miracles, Science, and Faith. This book is different for you and it was real personal, real vulnerable for you wasn't it?

It was very vulnerable. I never had done that before. You know I write books on psychology and business and and sometimes how faith interacts with that. Never had written one on faith.

Also one of my best friends in the world is a guy named Dr. Henry Cloud that wrote a book called Boundaries and he's a good friend of John's as well well-known psychologist. Boundaries is what made Henry a household name for some of you.

Henry Cloud talks about this in his classic book, Boundaries, that when someone doesn't respect your boundaries, it means they feel entitled to walk in your yard to take your money, to they feel entitled to your money.

And then when you set a boundary with a boundary-less person, roughly 100% of the time it pisses them off, almost every time, right?

So once you say, you can't play in the yard, it's my yard and you can't come over here. There's a fence here. You should stay on your side of the fence. That's a boundary, in other words.

Then the people who have gotten used to treating your yard like it's their yard, they go, oh, but we like playing in your yard.

And so no, you can't play in my checkbook anymore. There's not room for both of us. And so I'm gonna declare it mine and I'm gonna close the gate. The gate was open and now the gate's closed.

There's a couple of basic Henry Cloud-type principles in here from the book boundaries.

Well what's going to happen is is you're just going to go pick up Henry Cloud's book boundaries

So I know that that's a fun way to put it.

Well I mean they teach you how to come back and do the confrontation and give you you know because basically what we're talking about here is a boundaries violation and the first thing that happens when someone violates your boundaries whoever we are our friend Dr Henry Cloud of course wrote the consument book on that boundaries but you feel like you did something wrong you feel crazy.

I've had to read like Henry clouds book boundaries it's like every weekend after read the whole book again.

Pick up Dr. Henry Cloud's book Boundaries. You'll read it and you'll go, Oh, there's my family.

I'm going to gift you with two books...Necessary Endings by Henry Cloud and Boundaries.

Oprah's biggest books that she promoted on her show was literally called Toxic Parents and another one called Boundaries. Those are the biggest books she had? Yes.

Dr. Henry Cloud, a clinical psychologist and bestselling author of Boundaries, Necessary Endings, Integrity, and Trust.

your son is...he's going to have to get some problems

he's going to have to get some problems