This Is Important

From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red, White and Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented new audio mystery.

From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red, White and Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented new audio mystery.

From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red, White, and Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented new audio mystery.

From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red, White & Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented new audio mystery

Does this murder make me look gay?

Red, White and Royal Blue

Red, White and Royal Blue

From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red, White and Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented new audio mystery.

From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red, White, and Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented new audio mystery.

From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red, White & Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented new audio mystery, Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay?

From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red White and Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented new audio mystery. Does this murder make me look gay?

From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red, White & Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented new audio mystery, Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay? Master Vandy is dead! Then it's probable that whoever killed Vandy is in this very room. Lock her up. Lock her up. You killed your daddy! You don't get anything fizzy! 911 what's your emergency? I'm in the Monroe Estate and I just caught a murderer. Yes I'll hold!

From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red, White, and Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented new audio mystery, Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay?

From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red, White and Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented new audio mystery, Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay?

From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red, White and Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented new audio mystery.

From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red, White and Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented new audio mystery.

In the wake of Amazon Prime's Red, White and Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented new audio mystery. Does this murder make me look gay?

From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red, White, and Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented new audio mystery.

From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red, White & Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented new audio mystery.

From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red, White and Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented new audio mystery.

From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red, White and Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented new audio mystery.

From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red, White and Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented new audio mystery.

From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red, White and Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented new audio mystery.

From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover memoirs, poetry, children's books, or cookbooks.

From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover memoirs, poetry, children's books or cookbooks.

From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover lots of celebrities' books, be they memoirs, poetry, children's books, or cookbooks.

From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover memoirs, poetry, children's books, or cookbooks. And we discuss them in nauseating detail.

From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover memoirs, poetry, children's books, or cookbooks.

From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover lots of celebrities' books, be they memoirs, poetry, children's books, or cookbooks.

From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover memoirs, poetry, children's books, or cookbooks.

From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, We cover memoirs, poetry, children's books or cookbooks.

From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover lots of celebrities' books, be they memoirs, poetry, children's books, or cookbooks.

From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover memoirs, poetry, children's books, or cookbooks.

From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover memoirs, poetry, children's books, or cookbooks.

From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover lots of celebrities' books, be they memoirs, poetry, children's books, or cookbooks.

From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover memoirs, poetry, children's books, or cookbooks.

From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover memoirs, poetry, children's books, or cookbooks.

From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover lots of celebrities' books, be they memoirs, poetry, children's books, or cookbooks.

On my dating profile, I had something about being a fan of Nebraska-era Bruce Springsteen.

On my dating profile, I had something about being a fan of Nebraska-era Bruce Springsteen. It's like you squint and everyone can be a butch.

On my dating profile, I had something about being a fan of Nebraska era Bruce Springsteen. It's like you squint and everyone can be a butch.

If you love weird pop culture facts like, I don't know, what is Tori Spelling's favorite salad?

If you love weird pop culture facts, like, I don't know, what is Tori Spelling's favorite salad? Well then you're gonna love the podcast I do with my best friend, Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily.

Like, I don't know, what is Tori Spelling's favorite salad? Well then you're gonna love the podcast I do with my best friend, Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily.

If you love weird pop culture facts, like, I don't know, what is Tori Spelling's favorite salad?

I think it might be a backwards. Like, what is the name of his book and movie? Hillbilly Elegy. It's a Hillbilly Elegy sort of thing.

There's some shit about JD Vance where in his book or whatever, he admitted to fucking couches or something.

What does elegy mean? Wow, fuck if I know this guy is smart. Apparently he knows some big words. Is that why it's a good title?

I think it might be a backwards. Like, what is the name of his book and movie? Hillbilly Elegy. It's a Hillbilly Elegy sort of thing. I love you guys. Dude.

There's some shit about JD Vance where in his book or whatever, he admitted to fucking couches or something.

You've probably seen books at Barnes & Noble and thought, uh, those look silly. I wonder what is inside of them.

We've decided because we are grown, consenting adults, that we're going to read a book every single week. And here we are.

You probably don't have time to read books. Let us do it for you. We discuss the inner workings of the minds of these authors at great detail.

From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover lots of celebrities' books, be they memoirs, poetry, children's books, or cookbooks.

And we discuss them in nauseating detail. It's pretty academic. It's basically literary criticism. So, get your degree, put your glasses on.

Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily

Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily

Yeah. And actually, we do need that back. We need that piece of confetti back. So yeah. If we can just. We owe it. Yeah. Because we have to bring this to Tulsa, Oklahoma. Yeah. We got to. That's going to actually travel with us to Ben Salem, Pennsylvania. What the fuck? They're going to go wild for that. Can you just play the Forrest Gump music?

I know. I did Rudy too. It goes down first though. But I think it's the same composer. Just no, probably not. Jerry Goldsmith. Jerry Goldsmith. That was the shit when I write. I put on some Jerry Goldsmith, Rudy soundtrack. I get it. Takes me away, dude. I get it. Right. Jerz, what should I even. I should look for the score, correct? Yeah. OK. I believe it's called Sweet. Sweet?

Like, I'll let you figure out how to spell it. Like S-U-I. Can you do it? Wait, no. Guys, I think we need to. Can you spell Sweet? We need to try to remember what it sounds like. Well, we know it. We just did it. Do you know? Do do do do do do do do do. Oh, that's. Do do do do do do do. You got this. Do do do do do do do. Oh my God. This is really beautiful. My name is Forrest Gump. Jenny, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. That's me. You guys know that one, right?

That's a great war pitcher, dude. Let's do it. That's a great idea. Right? Lieutenant Dan before. The Lieutenant Dan spin-off. Right? I want to see specifically all Lieutenant Dan. Bro. Like what happened? How did he lose his legs? Yeah.

He does. But you don't have to show. I'm a dumbass. You could show him living that life. Tell his story. Yeah. You just want to see his hair grow out. You want to see those years when it was kind of like a little awkward. Yeah, like kind of the awkward hair and people don't respect him because his hair's not dope yet. Yeah, dude. I like that. I want the comedy of like everyone's supposed to respect him and like, but he's kind of a dick.

Well, I have an image of Gary Sinise walking at the end of the movie. Is he walking? That's when he's with his wife. And he has metal legs, remember? Who cares? And he goes, he goes clink, clink. Yeah, he hits the cane against his metal legs. And at the beginning of the movie, he has legs as well. I don't remember him at the beginning. What are you?

I know, I know. I know I should have this in my mind, but I don't have an image of him. Lieutenant Dan is in charge of Forrest Gump. Mm-hmm. He's his lieutenant. He says wear good socks. And he's like, don't salute me, you fucking idiot. That's the first time you meet him? Yes. Isn't there a scene at school when they meet and like, he's like the bully or something?

And Bubba doesn't have a scene from the high school. Adams movie has. He loses, he gets his legs blown off. And then. Okay. I remember he carries them. I remember that. He's mad that Forrest saved his life because he's supposed to die in battle. Oh yeah, he's like, let me die. Yep. Let me die.

And then later he's an alcoholic with long limbs Lenore. Uh huh. Wow, Durrs, go off. That's right. Go off, Durrs. And then Forrest gives him like a reason to live. And then he comes back at the very end with the fucking fake legs and a new wife. And she goes, it's nice to meet you, Forrest.

Well, see, I do, the whole point initially was to be crippled in it. That's what I was kind of looking forward to sitting down for most of it. I think that means that your movie has to take place when Forrest was like off doing something in the movie. Kicking it with Jenny. Yeah, probably Jenny.

Yeah, he's playing ping pong. Pickleball. We need to fill the gaps in the Lieutenant Dan storyline. Yeah, smart. What if we update it, Forrest Gump is really good at pickleball.

And then I look up and I see the TV and pickleball. This is like what, the 70s? So it's like, he's not getting a lot of love for pickleball yet. It hasn't become the phenomenon. He looks up at the TV and he sees Forrest crushing the ping pong. And he's like, God damn that Forrest Gump. Yeah.

I watched that movie. Lieutenant Man. No, no, no, no. We're getting the rights. We're calling Zumeikis. We're getting the rights. Okay. Lieutenant Man.

Yeah, okay. Let's go for it. Yeah, reboot. Well, we want the IP, I guess. Yeah, you're right. I'm a fucking idiot. Right. Walk Forrest, walk. Lieutenant Daniel. Let's just call it that. Lieutenant Man. Walk Forrest. Walk. Forrest Gump. Forrest Gump. Forrest. Make it in Russia, dude. That would be sick. Dude, I am Lieutenant Man. Walk Forrest.

Yes points. I'll be crippled. I'm pissed now. I'll be crippled for my next film. I only play guys that their legs don't work from here on out.

And then he gave me the American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis.

He gave me the American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis.

He gave me a copy of American Psycho, the book for Brett Easton Ellis, gave me a copy of the book and a DVD of Jamie Foxx live from the foxhole and goes, this is who I am comedically.

He is Patrick Bateman.

He even suggests to us to watch the movie and read the book so much that I was like, what are you trying to tell us?

All quiet is on the western front.

And I guess they've made, I guess it was a huge book. And then this is like the fourth time they've made the movie.

It's in German, but they dub it in English for us. So like it doesn't quite match up. And at first you're like, oh, this is going to bug me.

Well, I've seen the original or I don't like the one from way back, Waback.

I got to see that. That's crazy that they were like, hey, that movie everyone loves that I think is like one of the AFI top 100 movies and all that. Let's remake that.

I liked his book because I liked hearing his story.

You specifically told me you liked the part that where he was like, I used to wear blackface.

Yeah, I loved.

I really leaned into that.

I really leaned into that part.

Actually, I was gonna shit on myself in my... I've been reading, Ted.

John Smith, he found some like golden plates that said like,

this shit is important and it led to our podcast.

He found some golden plates that said like, this shit is important and it was in our podcast.

Oh, okay. Respect. That shit's important.

He's like, religion's a naked grandma.

Where the Red Fern Grows.

And don't miss the all new crime series Under the Bridge inspired by shocking true events and starring Riley Keough and Lily Gladstone.

And crime fans, do not miss the all-new series Under the Bridge inspired by shocking true events.

Yeah. Stars Riley Keough and Lily Gladstone.

Under the Bridge tells the haunting story of a murder that lays bare a small community's darkest secrets.

And crime fans do not miss the all new series Under the Bridge, inspired by shocking true events.

Yeah. Stars Riley Keough and Lily Gladstone.

Under the Bridge tells the haunting story of a murder that lays bare a small community's darkest secrets.

What was that shit? The Anarchist Cookbook or whatever?

Yeah, the dark web is the internet now.

The Anarchist Cookbook was always- The kid who always had it was the kid who was never gonna do shit. But was always like, I could. I could just fucking blow this whole place away.

I think they did a documentary on the guy who wrote it and he heavily regrets it because I do think a lot of kids did use it for fucking shitty shit.

Harry Potter.

You know what's really smoking? This book, the Bible.

Somebody stop me from reading another verse of the Bible.

I'm like I have a memory of you doing it for a talent show, but you never busted that out in front of a crowd of people, right? Well, that was a talent show. Oh, really? Did you do it when, we used to have a rap crew called Sugar and the Raw. It was a Czechoslovakian rap group. Yeah, that's true. Sounds pretty exclusionary. It was. We performed at... It's a whites only rap group. Yeah, looking back on it, it was not a good idea. No, dude!

I just read, like, "The 48 Laws of Power." Yeah. And it just had some really good, like, self-preservation. Dude, I feel like, I feel like I need to read that book again because I kind of need that shit right now. You know what I mean? And it just goes, like, don't be too happy, like don't be too cocky, like people don't like that. You know what I mean? Don't brag too much. But like, I feel like we're all in that, like the bragging mode right now. You know? But also, I just don't think people like, don't rub it in people's faces. And, you know, I know I do that shit.