Do the New You 6 Mindsets to Become Who You Were Created to Be

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And we're putting these conversations together as a gift to you to take you deeper into what we shared in the book, the six mindsets to become who you were created to be.

And this mindset, I really do need a life coach because I'll tell you what, putting this in the book to me almost felt like an act of hypocrisy because the mindset--this is the shortest one, I guess, and the hardest one for me.

It goes, my joy is my job. And it's like I don't really want to call joy a job. Joy is supposed to be a sensation, right?

I'm really hanging on to that quote from Brian Wilson from The Beach Boys that I put in the book.

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I love it because it helps me to understand that every day, I wake up and this is one of my favorite parts that I wrote in the book. I'm deciding a bunch of things, you know, Am I gonna wear this black t-shirt or that black t-shirt, you know, like it's gonna be black t-shirt But which one am I gonna? Am I gonna do three sets of this or four sets of this or no sets of this in my workout, you know Whatever, whatever, but the biggest decision is which me will I be and I think that can sound schizophrenic to people like I mean Which me will I be I'm deciding that right now. I'm just I decided that an hour ago I will decide it again when I see my kids tonight and we decide that over and over again And maybe this would be a good place for us to get into the idea of summoning the self that God sees Into the first mindset in the book, which is I'm not stuck unless I stop.

I think one things you did great in the book is that people see themselves in it constantly go I I do feel stuck sometimes my relationships. I just feel stuck in my head. I feel stuck in my career What am I gonna what am I gonna do? And a lot of people they feel like that stuck is permanent Mm-hmm, like hey, I'm working hard, but I'm stuck. So there's not lack of action for them They're like I'm going to work, but I feel stuck You know, I'm working hard, but I'm not earning more. I feel stuck and what ends up happening is the more you feel stuck the more you Spin in doubt and so when you're stuck you spin write that down. Yeah, you're stuck you spin yeah, and people always mistake the signal for doubt as a Signal to stop But doubt is not a C doubt is not saying stop doubt is a signal to learn and When you change that frame in your mind everything changes in your life I'm so doubtful doubt doesn't say well stop and don't learn anymore doubt is literally I don't know So the only way to actually figure it out is get in motion Try test like doubt is the entrance to the scientific process Doubt is the entrance to faith Wow. And so when you realize that like oh, I'm having all these doubts about this thing The next thought should be well, I'm gonna have to do something to discover the answer Hmm. I'm gonna have to do something to discover the truth I'm gonna do something to test this hypothesis. Will it break your flow if I ask you something about that?

I think a lot of themes of the Bible are do not be afraid or As you taught me be strong and courageous That presupposes yeah some doubt right most of the Bible presupposes we have doubts Yeah, if he says be strong, I must feel weak because I wouldn't tell you to sit down. You already are Yeah, he didn't start the story. We Gideon doesn't start the story as you know a mighty warrior. Yeah. Yeah. He starts in the wine press. I'll wimp in a wine. Yeah Yeah, David doesn't start the story with the sling I mean so you have to go oh each of these stories Starts in a place often of doubt. Yeah or discouragement despair division between people We have to cycle through that but the thing is I always said well, that's why there's another verse That's why there's another chapter. It's why there's something more it's like it might the story might begin in doubt, but the story doesn't stop there and We have to remember that in our own lives and so what I loved about this first chapter we're saying I'm not stuck unless I stop is you want to lock a lot of reasons that people should not stop and Realize that they can change I love how you talk about, you know, you can defy your default Yeah that maybe your default was to stop or to do these bad negative behaviors But you can work your way through them You can change you can shift and I think that's a hopeful message for a lot of people because they really do believe That they're stuck and stuck is a place of permanence When what your book is teaching stuck was a mindset. Mm-hmm, and You can change your mind so you can change your life.

I've tried everything right, right. Yeah, and you go. Oh, yeah Everything. Yeah, I've tried everything and then walk through it because you have an exercise you make people do that Yeah, I tried everything awesome, I'm so excited and I get really encouraged for them and they say well if you tried everything show me the list and They go. What do you mean? I said, well show me the list you tried everything I mean if you tried everything then you must have kept a list Really detailed of all the things you tried because of course you'd have to know what's mutually exclusive You'd have to know what you tried and didn't work and you have to adjust and do it over again So show me the list and most often people go well, you know I've tried once or twice and I tried the same well, I asked my boss for a raise on Monday asking me on Friday Asking the same way every time all the time, but I'm gonna ask him so you've been asking okay, but you haven't been adding new value So it's like you tried one strategy and you hit it 50 times and you didn't adjust it from another way You haven't tried everything you tried what you knew. You need to get perspective or approach it in a different way and I think often to people when they think of stuck they think of just negative things I'm stuck in a bad marriage. A lot of people are are stuck in a very happy marriage and What I mean by that is they don't need to leave the marriage. They have to learn to be different Try a new angle to find the happiness the fulfillment or the intimacy in the marriage So what I mean by that is sometimes people they're stuck is really they're just at a plateau They're actually successful they're actually doing well things are good and a lot of high performances are going Oh, you're just playing you're doing well. You're actually high performing but there's this next level for you and I think that I actually got that out of the book as much as I got out of oh, I'm in despair I'm troubled things are bad. What I also took from the book was things are going well But there's a new level for me when I'm in a more in a greater connection to my faith Speaking about plateaus you have this great statement in the book Don't argue for your limitations. What do you mean by that? Because I think a lot of people they are stuck But they're stuck in their own limitation. I heard a motivational speaker say at one time He said if you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them.

If you argue for your limitations you get to keep them you live small you stay in that space You actually begin to fulfill that prophecy not the prophecy of God over your life But your own prophecy the you you start to fulfill the enemy's prophecy Over your life that you'll never be this and your dad wasn't that so what I did I took that quote and in the book I take it a little further I say if you argue for your limitations you get to keep them But if you agree with God about your potential you get to grow into it. Oh, that's good grow into it that's good, you know, that's a whole sermon put it in the chat grow into it because Growing into it means no. I'm not it right now like Anymore than I was five nine when I was five But I get to grow into it and I think that first step of agreeing with God about your potential is to go God, you know what's in me? I don't and that's why I'm very wary of just the know thyself Philosophy right like know thyself is great. But how about part to grow thyself? Yes. Yeah, because that's the the the outgrow of Reflection and awareness and self-acceptance is that I'm going to grow into who God knows me to be That's the message of the book I was writing this book to myself in places going do the new you the the you that you don't know yet But that God already does the one that he chose Yeah, and have faith in yourself as equally as maybe he has faith in you Which is a hard thing to grow into well think about this You're growing in the faith of yourself, which is very hard of yourself because people will say don't believe in yourself believe in God Here's the problem I have with that Who made you? If God made me and I don't believe in me what he called me to be Then it's him I doubt right and that really helps me to get past this sticking point where I feel like well I just don't want to hype myself up and say that you know, I can do great things Well, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Yes. So I think the two go hand in hand That's why I was passionate to get this master class going To get people out of and to get you out of this mindset that says well God is great, but I'm no good Okay. Yeah, we're all sinners. We all need Jesus. We all need forgiveness, but we've been redeemed by him So what does that speak of us that he paid that price for us? and that's the limitation that I want you to grow beyond this view of you that only sees you as flesh and bones and mistakes and disappointments and To grow into the image of God that you were originally created to be so good I thought of when I was reading it The the angle you took on don't argue for your limitations Which was also you were saying be careful about justifying all your vulnerabilities And your challenges and what's wrong with you because it's easy to go. Well, you know, I'm not a good communicator because and soon you say because you enter the world of either blame or Self-comfort to say I'm not a communicator because my parents were mean to me And so I was talking about listen on limitations always listen for the word because well I'm like this because and you'll often add a negative thing. My parents were like this. They didn't believe in me She mistreated me. They cheated they stole or We're doing it for our own comfort because we don't believe we have empathy from the world So sometimes when we share our limitations our vulnerabilities with people what we're doing is we're reaching out. We're saying hey You know, I'm you know, let me just be vulnerable with you real quick What is doing guys? Could you please see me? Can you recognize me because I'm not feeling like I like myself or I'm not feeling good Seen heard or I don't feel like the world is fair. So let me tell you this thing. That's unfair for me Could you see it and acknowledge it and say to me? Oh, yeah, that is unfair or oh I understand now why you are like that and the whole conversation Suddenly does something funny it justifies and sets concrete around the limitation. Well Suddenly we have verbalized the reason because We've verbalized the reason for the limitation and now we coalesce around it and we actually just made it stronger And so empathy can be like that which we don't talk about in the modern world sometimes Overly placating to people's, you know vulnerabilities or limitations and staying on it and stewing on it all day Doesn't actually move them through it's often the difference in my career of as we'll share the deep Of as we'll share the difference sometimes between the therapist and a coach both absolutely necessary and I'm a huge mental health guy But there is a difference Sometimes we'll spend more time over here in a therapeutic context And a coach is gonna try to move you through that limitation a little bit more aggressively Not that either is right both can be really wrong but I think it's just a casual way to say to people be careful of just always talking about the limitation and arguing for it and Seeking the empathy and understanding and comfort because all of a sudden you miss The ability to move through it and I thought that the movement through the book That you took people on was so powerful because you didn't let them sit there Well, thank you for saying that because when I wrote the mindset, I'm not stuck unless I stop I thought this could come across really callous to somebody who just found out like I'm never gonna be able to Have children or I'm never going to be able to fulfill this dream Or I'm never gonna have my health back like I did before or this person has gone out of my life Like I lost my dad and in this area of my life. I do feel like there is a limitation Well, there there is a loss But I'm trying to get you opened up and anytime I talk about this. I can't help but think about Moses and the children of Israel at the Red Sea right and they're like Okay, God help us help us help us and they cried out and Moses says don't worry stand still and you will see the salvation Of the Lord right next verse God says Why are you crying out to me tell the Israelites move on? Hmm, so it sounds spiritual. They're crying out to God. The Lord will deliver you and he will Through you moving through it right and I love that about personal development. I love that about Having a coach to help us through these things and bring our faith into motion so that we can actually see faith without works is dead and That God promises to bring you through it

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Pastor says in his book Do the New You, "'I'm not stuck unless I stop.'"

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Do The New You is available for purchase wherever you get books. Go to http://dothenewyou.com/ to get your copy today.

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Do The New You is available for purchase wherever you get books. Go to http://dothenewyou.com to get your copy today.

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We have spent the last seven weeks walking through my husband's new book, Do The New You.

I wish that I could ask each one of you which mindset has been your favorite, which chapter of the book has spoken to you.

To be able to hold this book in my hands. I'm sure you are still going to wrap up this series. You may not understand but it is a measurably more answer to my personal prayers.

I just thought was missing and so he said that he reminded me he had already written a book a year before and it was basically rejected and he said, I'm okay with it and I've just decided that I'm not a writer.

And here we are just a little over a year later in this book is in my hands and how many of you would testify that God has spoken to you through the message of this book. It's amazing.

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It was his first book in eight years.

And the book was called Do the New You.

I just so loved this book.

If you haven't read Do the New You, you have to get a copy.

We have an egroup study with Do the New You.