Stillness Is the Key

Ryan Holiday, author of 12 books on stoicism with more than 10 million copies sold, including The Obstacle Is the Way, Ego Is the Enemy, and Stillness Is the Key.

Stillness is key. What's that about?

Stillness is key. So it's not you don't necessarily have to meditate, but I know you wrote about how you you backpack through the woods.

Let's dive into, we've been talking about for all of you who are listening and watching and loving this conversation, Stillness is the Key by Ryan Holiday. It's already number one New York Times bestseller.

The best things about Ryan's book is they're just, he's a great storyteller. The stories are unique, fresh.

Go grab a copy of the book. We will put the link in the bio section and all other places.

If you haven't read Obstacle Is The Way or Ego Is The Enemy, which are two of my favorites, then go and grab those with this one too.

My guest tonight is considered one of the leading stewards of stoic philosophy. He's behind The Daily Stoic, Stillness is the Key, The Obstacle is the Way, and much more. Please welcome Ryan Holiday.

and the author of 12 books including his New York Times bestseller, Stillness is the Key.

His books, The Obstacle is the Way, Ego is the Enemy, The Daily Stoic and the number one New York Times bestseller, Stillness is the Key, have sold more than five million copies in the US.

I think to me, and I talk about this a little bit in the new book, I feel like what that is, that's what confidence actually is.

I talk about this a lot in the book, like the power of a hobby is that embodied.

One of the things I talk about in the book is are you actually taking time to like stop and think about these things?

The craving is the opposite of stillness.

It's in the book. Oh, that must be why I watched it because I don't remember what jogged that.

I think to me, and I talk about this a little bit in the new book, I feel like what that is, that's what confidence actually is.

I talk about this a lot in the book, like the power of a hobby is that embodied.

One of the things I talk about in the book is, are you actually taking time to like stop and think about these things?

I think that it is, it's like, can you get to a place where you do really great work and you perform at an elite level, but you do it from a good place?

At the core of Stoicism and in the story I tell the book, like the beginning of Mr. Rogers, which you're almost gonna have to start watching...

I wrote Stillness is the Key in 2018. It came out in 2019. I guess I sold it a little bit before that. This is right around the time I was having my second kid. I was just trying to figure out how to figure out my life.

One of my books, Stillness hit number one.

And then you know what happened the next week? Someone else was there, right?

I do think about that my my first book in the series that this book is a sort of part of a trilogy for it it's this idea of the obstacles the way right and what what the sort of premise is when you look back at your life all the really difficult painful unpleasant things you went through you can see in retrospect we're taking you to wherever you were going to end up right you see like the breakup that you went through was obviously for the best the failure that you had was teaching you something and in retrospect you wouldn't change them right but in the moment you were so convinced that you could change them and you should change them and that you must fight against them you must resist them and that was the source of a lot of that unhappiness and that misery and so I mean look it doesn't magically take the pain of it away but I try to zoom out and go how am I going to think about this in the future right and if I'm going to be happy about it in the future or if I'm at least going to be resigned to it in the future not angry about it in the future why can't I just skip this part right like why do I if I know that at the end of the day this isn't going to matter that much to me and that that I was taking it too seriously or I was too upset about it in the moment but maybe that helps take 20% of the edge off it doesn't magically make you feel better but it can soften some of that so that's one of the things that I think about

Ryan Holiday, author of The Obstacles the Way, Ego is the Enemy, Stillness is the Key, and of course The Daily Stoic as I explain the ideas behind the words and shed light on the path that you're on but that I am also on because again we are all struggling to tame our temper and we will all be better if we can get closer to that.

I remember when I woke up one morning in Los Angeles, I was staying at the athletic club on tour for Stillness is the Key. And it was the day I was supposed to find out whether I'd hit the bestseller list or not.

It's fitting too, I think, because I wrote in Stillness that there are a few better ways to settle yourself in the present moment, to wash away the distractions and the noise and the trouble of every day life rather through being around natural water.

If you saw me on the Stillness is the Key book tour, thank you for coming out.

I remember when I woke up one morning in Los Angeles, I was staying at the athletic club on tour for Stillness is the Key.

It's fitting too, I think, because I wrote in Stillness that there are a few better ways to settle yourself in the present moment, to wash away the distractions and the noise and the trouble of every day life rather through being around natural water.

I think a lot of people took that to mean you know meditative or you know sort of detaching or disconnecting like stepping away which which that is an important part you have to have that for really I am fascinated with stillness in the midst of activity

the writer says it's 16 without knowing it Salnikov had grasped the paradox out of stillness comes swiftness and out of patience comes energy he had crossbred the two seeds that grew on opposite sides of the wall

it's one of those things like a lot of zen things we're like that's beautiful and I'm also not sure I have any idea what exactly I think I know what it means it means it's just what we just talked about it's like an inner you have to have an inner quiet and an inner calm in the midst of this outer you know cacophony

about the book and answer questions about it and that's what I'm bringing today here's me answering some questions about why I decided to write about stillness the sort of paradoxical nature of stillness about where how it's what unlocks good ideas and good thinking that weirdly sort of not pushing so hard forward allows you to move forward and then how I create space in my life and how I deal with distractions all that kind of stuff that I talk about in the book I think you're really going to like this Q&A

but then the book I did after was about stillness was me trying to rebuild my life after out of the destruction the when going

Now four years later, stillness is the key which at number one on the New York Times Facilities is for sale as an e-book right now for $1.99.

I was just sort of coming off that tour and starting to get serious about what I was going to do next, the writing that I had to do.

It's funny because I just put out stillness is the key in the fall of 2019.

You can grab the stillness is the key key for 50% off at store.daliestore.com.

Just use code stillness is the key in all caps and that should work so check out the stillness is the key ebook if you want to stillness key.

And of course, all of my books, you can grab the obstacles way or still this is the key on Audible.

One of those books I wrote is called Stillness is the Key and it's about how stillness unlocks our potential not just for professional success but for personal happiness and contentment and that's what we're going to talk about in today's episode.

is it going to be oh I've liked previous book share this person and I want to go so it's this weird tension right and and actually my publisher on ego is the enemy they were like what if we did this thing where like sort of an artistic statement your name wasn't on the cover and I was like well first I like kind of sucks because I wrote it right like I I should the painter should sign their work it's not an egotistical thing it's just like own own your shit but also like is that better like it which is a better business decision right like at brass not even business what is a better getting people to read a book which instinctually they don't want to read and so you have that tension of like because it's a capitalistic commercial thing it's not just what makes sense artistically or philosophically it's also like what will work to deliver the medicine right right the logical extension of your name getting bigger it is like the book tour becomes like an arena show with pyrotechnics it's like you know like everyone needs to learn stillness and just like you know like a like a fighter jet flying overhead and just like everyone's cheering and they have foam fingers of you and like pictures of your face on their t-shirt and like we love you and you're like I'm just preaching you know like so so to me I mean that's obviously like the hyperbolic crazy satirical extreme of this idea of you know a you know a philosophy or a set of ideas that are somewhat not not compatible with with the sort of like capitalistic enterprise but then having to exist inside of a capitalist landscape it's like there's yeah there I think the tension is going to be inherent I don't think there is like like like it will play out in different microcosmic ways where it's like the name versus the title and like yeah it would be a class statement to be but then but like even the publisher is like there's so many layers that were trying to like trick ourselves in a thinking we're absorbing actual truth but it's really like just a better version of a commercial and it's like the idea would be like oh you publish this book that has no author and that's the thing and then like oh secretly it's this guy who you know and it's like so it is like this this sort of like constant trying to one up the marketing aspect of it and and something you see now I mean on social media is that people are so inherently brand conscious and but like but the but the you know with individual with performers and with authors and artists and creators or whatever they want to call them like the they are the product they are also the marketing brand like they are the logo and the product and the team and everything and so you know the delineation of like you know like we've gotten rid of ads it's like we didn't it's just the people just do them and sell so it's like if you were watching like a you know a Simpsons episode back in the day it would be like if in the middle of the episode Mars just started talking about like tide pods and you were like what is going on

I talk a lot about the eastern stuff in my book on stillness

Amazon tells us that this is actually one of the most highlighted passages in the digital version of my book Stillness is the Key

if you haven't read Stillness is the Key I would love for you to do it super proud of the book it came out in 2019 and I think it's held up well certainly held up well for me during the pandemic

and I also have you hear that these are my keys when I walk into the office every morning I use a key that says stillness on it that we sell in the daily stoic story that you might like to check out you can check out all that stuff. Including signed copies of Stillness is the Key at store daily stoic dot com.

Stillness is the key. Oh my pleasure. That was a book that A.J. turned me on.

I was introduced to you a while ago with stillness a bunch of us at work we're reading and then I took me into a bunch of your other books and awesome.

the obstacle is way you go as the enemy stillness is the key the leather bound addition of the Daily Stoke we have them all in the Daily Stoke store

then like two years later...I read Stillness is the Key and I was actually when I was...that was like a year ago actually that's when I was going through the height of my uh my mental health crisis and um that really impacted me

stillness is the key

I just finished part one of stillness is the key last night.

I call it erotic, but whatever. Yeah, I mean you should, you're adding up your act.

The irony of stillness is that you need it most when you're doing the most, like you think of, yeah, and the athlete on the free throw line you think of, yeah, someone you know about to compete in a race or about to to sing, like you, you're doing something that's very physically taxing, but like you have to get to a place where that is the only thing that you're doing. You can't be doing a bunch of other things at the same time.

In my book Stillness, I call that space stillness, like how do you get into a place where it can be crazy around you, but you've sort of slowed it down, you've eliminated the extraneous, your mind is not thinking of 50 other things. You know how you, you have to figure out how to access that to do what it is that you do. It's not that you can't white knuckle it or just force it, but it's just that's never where like the best performance comes from.

It's obviously what I wrote a whole book about stillness as the key which came out in 2019.

You can grab that book anywhere books are sold. I've got signed copies of the paint and porch.

It's a reminder to me, actually as I turn the key into my office, one that stillness unlocks the kind of creativity and productivity and focus that I need to do what I do.

As I slide that key into the key set, it's a reminder that stillness unlocks the creativity, productivity, connection, focus that I need, the presence that I need to do what I do.

It also comes with a cool action guide related to the book. A bunch of awesome stuff there.

Here on a Sunday, a chapter from Stillness is the key about journaling and why journaling is such an important habit.

Of course we wouldn't have meditations without the practice of journaling. We wouldn't have so many great works of art, so many insights, so many inventions without the solitary time that people put into the practice of journaling.

And as funny this is a weird little more but thing, but I was to my kids in the supermarket today and as we were checking out they had these magazines and I guess no one really buys magazines anymore. So there's all these special one-off editions. But there was an Anne Frank like a magazine, like an issue dedicated to Anne Frank who is a character in Stillness is the key, who I read a lot about as I was writing the book and someone who's profoundly brave and wise beyond their years person.

It's not because she was a victim. That was a thing that happened to her but what she affected, who she was, what she did was all in the pages of this little journal and I tell that story in Stillness is the key which this episode is excerpting so you can listen to that and it's actually a really moving biography of Anne Frank that we carry in the painting porch all into that in today's show notes and of course you can get Stillness is the key anywhere books are sold.

We have them all in the Daily Stoke Store, which you can check out at store.dailystoke.com.

I was very surprised to see uh you write about it in both stillness is the key and uh discipline is destiny so I'm curious to like how that came about or why you were inspired to do that because the other the only other one I found was Russell Brands recovery

Obviously I wrote a book on it which I'd love for you to read if you haven't and then if you want to check out this key, it's pretty cool.

Antoninus Pius...his final word as he passes the crown so to speak to Marcus is equanimitas he's saying equanimity that that is the key virtue or trait that a leader has to have I render this as stillness my book stillness is the key is about how stillness or peace is the thing that unlocks key performance whether it's you know in the ER or it's sitting down to right or it is you know having a great evening with your family if you are not present if you are not locked in if you are thinking about what happened in the past or you are worried about what's happening in the future if you're distracted by what's happening outside you are not you are not operating at that sort of peak performance level

of all the books I've written, it's the one whose idea is I find myself returning to most often because I need them.

If you haven't checked out stillness is the key. I hope you do.

It's a stillness is the key.

As I say in the book Stillness is the key, it was one of the books I needed most in my life as I was writing it. It's a book that changed me and writing it. It's been lovely to hear from all the people who were changed by reading it at debuted at number one on the New York Times list. I can't wait for you to read it if you haven't yet.

Stillness is key. I hope you check it out.

I tell the story of Michael Jordan in Stillness Is The Key.

And if you watch his Hall of Fame speech, you can see a guy who manufactured slides its whole career as a source of fuel, as a source of propulsion.

And there's no question it made him great, but there's this moment in the speech where he calls out like the kid who took his spot, not even really took his spot as I get into in the book because it's more complicated than that, but the kid who got us spot on the varsity basketball team in high school in front of Jordan.

and then I have stillness is the key.

Stillness being when I think about what makes me happiest when I do my best work I'm not frantic, I'm not busy, I'm connected, I'm locked in.

yeah it's in stillness too right it's in my book stillness

So I read Stillness Is the Key and it really influenced me.

So that book is about slowing down so you can charge ahead.

So I guess if we're defining ego as what I'm defining it as sort of arrogance and self-centeredness and selfishness and you know you know sort of an exemption from the rules so on and so forth I would say no to me and I wrote about this actually in stillness I think like the story of David and Goliath is the story of ego on the one hand and Goliath but it's confidence in David it's not ego that makes him think that he can take on Goliath.

he had just been listening to my book stillness is the key on the way to the stadium

Stillness is the key, that's the title of the book.

I've written now 10 books about Stoic philosophy. I even wrote a book about stillness called stillness is the key...

Grant experienced a long chain of setbacks and financial difficulties. He washed up in St. Louis selling firewood for a living, a hard fall for a graduate of West Point and army buddy found him and was a guest. Great God Grant what are you doing he asked? Grant's answer was simple. I am solving the problem of poverty

I guess this would have been yeah this would have been the book tour for stillness is the key.

And I was like are you kidding me? Of course anyways he had moved to Austin and we've gotten reconnected.

of all the books i've read a majority of your books stillness is the one that that touched that that that for me the most

If you haven't checked out Stillness is the key you can it was a debut at number one on the New York Times best seller list get it an audiobook or ebook or physical we have sign copies here in the Daily Stoke Online Store or you can come by the painted portrait in Bastard, Texas and pick up a copy and I hope you check it out I'm very proud of the book and I do wish you all the stillness in the world or what the Epicureans and the stills would call adoraxia freedom from disturbances.

stillness is a key

I still remember where I was when I had the idea for stillness is the key I was walking with my family in Bastrop State Park and you know you just sort of get a hit. You don't know where ideas come from or why the news is visit them upon you but I have found that almost every book I have ever written is a book I desperately needed it was something I needed to explore and in exploring it learned a lot myself.

I'm going to summarize stillness is the key in five minutes because I think stillness is the most important force in the world. I think it's certainly the source of not just my best work but my happiest moments

He says you may be sure that you are at peace with yourself when no noise reaches you when no word shakes you out of yourself whether it be flattery or a threat or merely an empty sound buzzing about you with unmeaning din

I open the book with this story of Seneca Seneca is trying to write in Rome and there's all this crazy noise around him he's in this apartment you can hear yelling on the street below by the way also his life is falling apart and Seneca writes I have toughened my nerves against this kind of thing he says I force myself to concentrate all outdoors may be bedlam provided there's no disturbance within and he says you will know that you have stillness when no noise reaches you when nothing shakes you

stillness to me is the secret to elite performance it's the peace that makes room for happiness it's the key to everything that matters the best things in my life have come from stillness the best work in my life has come from stillness

he talked about my book conspiracy you're still in this is key

Is the title drawing the reader or is the fact that I also have fans who exist in the world and they would be more like are they going to be interested in a book on stillness.

that's why I wrote a book about it, to understand it, to focus on it, to make it more of a priority in my own life and stillness is the key came out in the fall of 2019, debuted at number one on the New York Times bestseller list

Stillness is the key, I think one of my best books I've heard from all sorts of cool people in different walks of life who have used it.

That's of course what stillness is the keys about. I have it tattooed here on my right wrist as a reminder. But if you haven't checked out the book, I do hope you will. It's something I'm very, very proud of. Debuted number one in the New York Times Westseller list. Is this something I've had to the ideas in it or something I've had to turn to a lot over the last two crazy years. And I hope you will too.

You can get sign copies of stillness is the key in the daily stoke store. You can also stop by the painted porch and I have sign copies here as well. And you can pick up the book anywhere books are sold as well.

I know he assigned Ego as the enemy two one or two of his teams over the years as well as stillness is the key

My book stillness is the key is built around that idea of stillness which appears in meditations like almost a dozen times. But we also see it in Buddhism and we see it in Hinduism and we see it in Christianity. The ability to slow down to be present to be here now is so important that it's more important than ever.

If you haven't checked out the book, I think you'll like it at debut at number one on the New York Times list. Stillness is the key. You can get it anywhere books are sold and I think sitting down with a book of course is a great way to get some stillness.

they asked me this interesting question what would still racism look like had it been led by women

in lives of the stills. I tried to speak about not just stoicisms pioneering belief that men and women should both be top philosophy but Portia Cato's daughter who's such a brilliant and inspiring embodiment of the stillic virtues

In the off season last year, McCay read Stillness is the key.

In the lead up to the Super Bowl, the Sports Illustrated story continues, the team altered their approach by not altering it at all.

And of course you can get Stillness is the key anywhere books are sold.

There's a box set with Stillness, Opsco, Ego.

I was superflattered to hear that McVeigh had read Stillness is the key, sent me a nice note about it.

This is on my book tour for Stillness if I remember correctly.

this is the key it was realizing especially with the first book it was like I wanted to write a book about stoic philosophy but I knew that the vast majority of people were not interested in stoic philosophy but most people have problems right obstacles are a universal fact of life and so the idea is oh okay let me present a part of stoic philosophy has a tool for dealing with obstacles or a solution to your problem

although one thing I struggle with and I talk about this at the beginning of stillness is the key I sort of tell this scene of Seneca in his apartment in Rome there's all like shockingly modern sort of busy noises and and he says you know I force my mind to concentrate and I keep it from straying to things outside itself all outdoors maybe bedlam provided there's no disturbance within

But it's also what I was writing about in my book Stillness is the Key which is all about slowing down in those critical sacred moments and doing what you really need to do, really locking in on the task in front of you.

If that's something you feel like you need more time of inner life, maybe the book would be helpful to you.

Check out Stillness is the key. Anywhere books are sold. There's an audio book version, ebook version, physical version.

you can find Stillness is the key anywhere books are sold.

I was thinking about this when I was writing stillness my book stillness is the key like that photo of earth like the famous blue marble photo

It was a transformational book for me to write and to study this

Stillness really is the key to wisdom, to insight, to happiness

stillness is the key

Stillness is the key came out and sold the most that any of my books had sold in debuted at number one

I think it's easily accessible to them and I think it teaches them a lot about how to beat I think in their worlds today there's just so much noise right so much iPhone and constant stimulation and to be able to get yourself out of that I think is one of those most important skills they can learn

stillness is the key the secret to charging ahead is slowing down seeing things clearly my best work never comes when i'm doing 50 things at the same time

I sort of tell this scene of Sennaka in his apartment in Rome there's all like shockingly modern sort of busy noises and and he says you know I force my mind to concentrate and I keep it from straying to things outside itself. All outdoors maybe bedlam provided there's no disturbance within.

what I talk about in Stillness is the Key,

I'm always interested whether it's Wall Street or sports movies where people work these insane hours. I wonder what at the. I wonder how much of that is actually the obsession and the love how much of it is the fact that other people are doing it. You know what I mean? I feel like it's like if all the GM suddenly said, you know, these are the hours if the on field product would be visibly different to the fan. I don't I actually don't think but I think you're you're owned to something right when you when you first get in it could be the element right of just social pressure. Yeah. Hey, if this successful GM is doing I got to do it his way and if I don't and then I'm not as successful and then somebody finds out then it's going to write bull down. Well, he's working two more hours a day than you and I think we all would would probably add those two hours more into the workday. If it if there was a study that proved the amount of hours actually led to write successful results all the time. But I think when you when you really drill down and reverse engineering, it's not necessarily the the hours is probably the quality of the hours.

oh no that that's that's probably why stillness is the key right so you you could sit down and be still and as I think through that. In the bulls analogy right Jerry Krause wouldn't be jealous of Phil Jackson unless they were successful right if Jackson was flopping he wouldn't be jealous of Phil Jackson but at the end of the day both Phil and Jerry were hired to have a successful basketball team and that is exactly what occurred so I you know sometimes I laugh at that I mean it's we quite termed them high class problems are yeah are you know in psychology right small differences but at the end of the day right a GM right number one should want a really successful coach and coaching staff that is is preparing a team to be successful on game days that so I mean that's now you've we should be celebrating that right we that that's cigar moment maybe that's that's yeah you're resenting the person for doing exactly what they were hired to do and deep down you became a scout or a GM because you're not that person do you know what I mean you're not the person who seeks out the limelight who can do the thing on camera so it's strange what it's like we want like I know people who they'll write a book and then they'll sort of suddenly be mad that not mad but they'll be envious of someone like an entrepreneur who made like lots of money and it's like were you under the impression that book publishing was where you would go to make the most money like you pick the wrong thing if that you you can't pick a thing being very aware of the inherent trade-offs of that thing and then and then once you get to the finish line expected to magically be different than it was promised to you at the time you in started the process.

Of course, this is what I wrote Stillness is the Key About, which came out in the fall of 2019. I had no idea what was in store, but I think that book held up well. I've heard from so many people who read it during the pandemic. I had to really stick to the teachings myself as challenging as it was over the last year.

Stillness is the Key, which debuted at number one on the New York Times bestseller list, one of the books I'm proudest of.

But then when I read Talking with Strangers last year, I read it actually before last year, I read it when I was on my book tour for Stillness is the Key.

Napoleon would not check his mail sometimes for up to three weeks. He said, I want things to resolve themselves without me.

If you like my books like The Obstacles Away or Ego is the Enemy or Stillness is the Key or I sort of tell moral stories.

when I was writing Stillness I decided oh you know what might be like I was trying to think of a leader a moment where a leader had been particularly sort of still but but in a very sort of crisis high moving situation and so I was like you know what I've read about the Cuban Missile Crisis before now I'm going to go do a deep dive in context of that to find out what I need to know.

And you may have even heard of him in my book Stillness is the key.

I was going to wear an iron maiden shirt at every event that I did.

You know, I tell the story in Stillness is the Key. I open part one, the perception part of the book, this story of Kennedy and the Cuban Missile Crisis.

But you may also recall that this part, the struggle is great, the task divine to gain mastery, freedom, happiness and tranquility. This is the epigraph to my book Stillness is the Key.

This is something I recorded when I was in Vancouver putting out the launch of stillness.

And I gave a talk and I sat down and sort of riffing on this idea of enough, something I was really thinking about as I was putting out the book.

stillness is the key

the best things about Ryan's book is they're just he's a great story teller the stories are unique fresh you might never I've never heard any of their stories about Churchill and was it gladstone yeah yeah I ever before