Money is Not a Math Problem

When I wrote the book Money's Not a Math Problem I came up with an acronym for that for keeping your money safe as a FE and I kind of say the S is you need to seek counsel if you are experiencing the A which is addiction of any kind so if it's gambling, it's pornography, something that's keeping them spending spending spending if there's any kind of abuse and as we saw in the last caller a lot of people hear the word abuse and they think okay this guy's slapping me around or you know maybe they're talking down to me or you know calling me names but a lot of times it's that financial abuse like we saw there they're not letting you in they're not giving you the passwords they're giving you an allowance and you can only go to the grocery store and buy this yes and that is a form of abuse and when that happens you've got to seek counsel and then the E is for evaluate your options and your options are like what Rachel said you can form another account and you can separate yourself for the time being and if that person is unwilling to seek counsel with you you've got to evaluate and say what do I need to do next are there children in this situation do I need to make some hard lines in the sand and I'm a I just don't stand for abuse of any kind so I have a really hard time telling anybody to wait that out I'm like I separate myself from that you can always yeah find inroads to get back but if a person is unwilling to seek counsel on your marriage and your money that's a hard line in the sand and it's hot it's a hard thing to swallow yeah and to say yes and to say that right now but but that's the truth of it you guys so as as married couples out there again we are so pro working together as a team but when one person in the situation is not working as a team and in that it's abuse addiction there are things there that puts you in danger that is when you have to protect yourself and and I'll say this too I we talked to you know people on all different you know income levels all different parts of the country all different viewpoints on marriage and roles and a spirituality I mean like you can get into all these nitty-gritty stuff but ladies out there if you are a stay-at-home mom you have just as much say at what is going on with the money in your home don't just yield that he's gonna just take care of everything and and so much more of this is less about you know man or woman but personality because also again not to drag on this conversation but I think it's important one of you is going to be more excited to do the budget one of you is going to be the one that's more of the nerd we call it that they they want to be oh my gosh we can't wait for this and the other free spirit sometimes the free spirits we talk to the nerds like well my wife never wants to do anything and I'm like well listen is she participating in it right is she you know part of the conversation like that's the goal here one of you may not love it as much as the other but that's what we're talking about but it's the idea that regardless of who you are in the marriage you have equal say and equal access and equal access to your money you guys it's really really crucial because that promotes health and that promotes openness and promotes communication which is going to help in other parts of your life in your marriage not just money so we want to create these good habits you guys and and money's an avenue in that