Lovett or Leave It

I believe also in The Book of Eli.

Or James Baldwin. I love James Baldwin.

I don't want James Baldwin. I don't want Truman Capote. Give me a fucking break!

Those fingernail people, they're a little bit like quicksand in that they loom so large in the minds of children. Those fingernail people, remember? You'd see them be like, that is important. That's something I'm going to think about and see pretty often for a long time when I'm growing up. That's important. Those records, the Guinness Book of World Records, what goes on in there is important.

Those records and what they mean and how much they mean to all of us. The fingernail thing.

Big things, little things, long things, short things, tall, short, important. Heaviest, lightest, important. That's what being an adult is about. Knowing that, thinking about that, caring about that.

Professor Tim Wu of Columbia Law School he is the author of a new book Attention Merchants

Like he definitely didn't read the book. Like he didn't read about how to be a man and use your shoulders, but he's, he's internalized it.

It's a bit of a shame because I was the Ernest Hemingway of 140 characters.

You fucking moron. Hemingway is the Hemingway of 140 characters. He's the pithy one. You could be the Hemingway of writing longer things, but you can't be the Hemingway of 140 characters. You'd be the Hemingway of Twitter. You've never read a fucking Hemingway book. Name one book, Trump.

Name one Hemingway book. Tell me one thing about The Sun Also Rises. Tell me one thing about it. What is it about? One thing about it. Say the word bulls to me, Trump. Say bulls. Do you remember that there are bulls in it? You fucking moron.

I was reading this book about the history of Israel and the Mossad.

And the first 100 pages, it's morally unambiguous because they're just hunting and capturing and killing Nazis.

Then I put it down.

Wait, I think I actually read this book.

Rise and Kill First.

I was like, I don't remember the name, but it's kind of like Eat, Pray, Love something.

It's like Rise, Kill. I knew it was like a three word thing.

Rise, Kill First, Eat, Pray, Love.

And like, yo, I see the connection.

Like I should have continued reading it, but I simply did it.

And I realized like, oh, I don't want to read the book about Israel's complicated history.

I want to read a book about Jews hunting Nazis.

In the 2018 Comedy Book Club, Jane Fonda and her three extremely horny friends navigate post-menopausal pleasure while reading which three erotic novels?

It's 50 Shades of Grey, 50 Shades Darker and 50 Shades Free.

It's been one year since people were saying, you know, Shakespeare wrote King Lear during a pandemic. My King Lear was customizing the egg McMuffin with bacon instead of the ham. That's my Lear. Blow winds and crack my cheeks.

I didn't even finish reading King Lear during this pandemic. No, the idea of dense literature in this moment is impossible.

That's also a spoiler for Murder on the Orient Express.

In A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, he predicts the eclipse. He says if you don't do something, I'm gonna make the sun go away because it was good timing for him.

Oh, Twain. Classic Mark Twain.

You know him as Mark Twain. I think of him as Samuel Clemens.

The nominees for Best Movie to Use as a Litmus Test for Whether or Not People Have Good Taste...Little Women by Greta Gerwig...

Well then obviously for me Little Women because Joe March is a lesbian.

Well, obviously Little Women, Joe March is a lesbian.

Maybe Little Women, I don't know.

And Then There Were None is one of the best selling novels in history.

And until the 1980s, it was still being sold in the UK under its original name, which I cannot say because it is intensely racist.

The name is so racist that in the United States of America, they had to edit it and publish it under a different racist name.

Oh god what was it? It was Julie Christie and Omar Sharif. What was that movie? Russia. Oh Dr. Zhivago. Yeah.

Laura Ingalls Wilder wrote Little House on the Prairie, famously adapted to a TV show in the 80s when that was the kind of thing that could become popular because there was only four channels.

Alright, that's a reference to Little House on the Prairie and how in that time, glass was hard to come by. You'd use something, maybe leather or something kind of tan, something kind of greasy because you couldn't have glass.

Watchmen was a graphic novel, 12 issues of a comic book that came out in the 80s.

You know what else? The original Jurassic Park in novel form had a much more interesting relationship to chaos theory than was ultimately produced in the film.

And I do think that was a missed opportunity because chaos theory is very interesting and actually applies in our daily life in a way that I think is surprising.

In particular to what is currently going on with 20 democratic candidates vying for a nomination.

And if in 1990, whatever sir, Steven Spielberg had done more on chaos theory, perhaps we all now would be more sophisticated in our evaluation of these candidates.

It's a Roald Dahl book, like I know I know. I thought you meant the movie.

I recommend Juliette Binoche specifically in the movie Damage with Jeremy Irons, which I love.